“I can’t breathe no more..
Since you went away I don’t really feel like talking,
No one here to love me,
Baby do you understand me?
I can’t do a thing without you..”
Its getting harder and harder not to contact ex’s and old possible interests. I think thats how we know Luli is getting a lil more lonely. I got all my crew around me though, and I’m busy with life, so I should be fine. But I’m just not. What is it about every single human being on earth, all they’re looking for is love. Not money, or drugs or anything. Just love. Even the biggest players or the cruelest criminals need love. Its the only thing we have in common.
I just need that attention. I want that flirting and attraction. Its not worth me calling them again though. I’d just hurt them. They would want me back and I would just want their hugs. Just because I’m lonely doesn’t solve all the old problems we used to have. The first guy who broke my heart told me once he deleted my number so that he wouldn’t call me, because he didn’t want to hurt me. I was outraged when he said it. Like I couldn’t control myself to not fall into his arms, like his assistance was needed! But now I get it.
“If you really wanna work it out
Then stop denying
Quit living in the past
Time you faced the truth
If its ever gonna work out
You gotta stop lying
Stop blaming him when its you,
That got that ice box where your heart used to be
Said you got that ice box where your heart used to be..”
Like I figured out the other day, its me who kills the mood. I kill relationships. I’m always saying no guys around, no one interesting, never giving a chance. Its too hard to trust someone again, when all men are liars and I have no luck. The other day my friend told me he felt like there was a girl on the way for him, his dream girl. I didn’t feel it then, but today and yesterday I’ve felt it. I think someone could be coming for me. When summer comes, its so easy for me to fall in love. But in winter, I’m a sad little kitten.
Should just forget all of this stuff and concentrate on Uni. But thats easier said then done, when I walk around from classes to breaks and see hot guys everywhere. And its hard not to flirt, when there are so many opportunities to talk to people. I have to get serious though. A guy right now would be the worst timing. I’d never get any study done, I’d be thinking about the wrong things, I haven’t bought any more summer dresses lately. Plus who knows, I could be crazy. I won’t realise till a few years into the future when I look back at this time.
Oh yeah, and that guy I was thinking of chasing to that club, well he’s written off. I thought it was fate and all of that, turns out hes just in my face too much. I saw him walking around with a hot girl, and I hear he uses the same lines on everyone. So forget him and wait for the true man like you were supposed to. Don’t try and make things happen, the perfect one will just come when you need him to.
“Constant pleasure
No scale can measure
Secret treasure
Keeps on getting better..
Do you wanna roll with me?
We can go to foreign lands,
With your hand in my hand..
Do you wanna ride with me?
We can be like Bonnie and Clyde,
Be by your side..
I’ll be more than a lover, more than a woman
More than enough for you..”
