How To Make Someone Miss You

“I miss you so much

I long for your love

It scares me

Coz my heart gets so weak

That I can’t even breathe

How can you take things so easily?

Baby, why aren’t you missing me?”

For as long as I’ve had this blog people have been attracted to its pages in search of the secrets on ‘how to make someone miss you’. I thought that perhaps they’d die off, but I’m still getting heaps of hits from the phrase. Unfortunately the closest I came to it were some lyrics from the Aaliyah song ‘Miss You’ and the rest of the words found somewhere scattered along that post.

Well no more. I’m going to do my best to help these poor souls who cannot for the life of them get someone to miss them. My heart goes out to you, I’ve felt it. Lets just think about it logically. It’s not even a hard task. First think of the people you yourself have missed and why you missed them.

For one reason or the other, their company was enjoyable. The people I miss dearly usually have some character traits in common. So all we need to do is copy them.

Interesting Conversation

You don’t want them to ever get bored while talking to you. If you don’t naturally have the talent of spinning conversation, then do some reading on a few interesting topics (or subjects your missed one is into) and casually weave them into conversation. Bring something new to the table, teach them something and argue from a unique point of view.

Activities

You always remember that night you went on the ferris wheel, compared to the million nights you spent in the same hang out, doing the same things. Do different and interesting things together. Go for drunken walks along Southbank or have a meal at a restaurant with unusual food. Go ice skating or to the comedy club (which can be pretty gay but at least you can tear it to shreds in review together later). Be spontaneous.

Funny

This is a bit harder because, lets be honest, who can force being funny? Sometimes coming off forced or not being sure of a joke can ruin a whole convo. But a friend will generally find anything you say a lot funnier just because it was you that said it. Same goes for a missed one. Give it a crack, just be a bit playful and clever. It will lighten the mood and that brings me to my next point.

Keep It Light

If they initiate a deep and meaningful then fair enough, but if not then going into intense things are just going to make someone feel like they’re being drained. Deep conversations take a lot of energy and thought, just don’t go there. Be happy, laugh things off and don’t take anything too seriously.

Appearance

You want them to have a gorgeous visual when thinking of you. Mostly their memory of you will be the last time they saw you, or how you look in general when they see you. That means it’s very important that you look your best each time. Try to wear something different when they see you, with one article being impressive (eg. Big, jewelled earrings, a flattering dress or colourful stilettos [If you are a man please ignore the brackets]).

Incorporate The Other Senses

We don’t just remember conversations and what we see. Smell is supposed to be the best trigger of memories, so wear a perfume, cologne or use scented body oil so that they can associate a certain smell with you. They might not remember the exact smell, but anything it kinda smelled like will remind them of you.

Also, touch them. Don’t be too over the top about it, but touch their arm and nudge them while you are walking together. Or hug them spontaneously, in a laughing, joking kind of way. Generally we are not an overly affectionate society so touch shocks people and they remember it.

Don’t Overstay Your Welcome

Short fun periods of time are way better than sticking around and shit getting boring and awkward. I couldn’t think of anything worse. When I visit people, they’re lucky if I stay two hours, unless we’re drinking together or doing something good. I stay until the convo starts to get stale or the fun is over, unless you’re willing to make me a cup of tea.

When You’re Not With Them

Don’t be easy to get a hold of. Wait a couple of hours before you reply. Don’t pick up the phone, call them back 20 mins later. Or if you can’t handle that just wait a few rings. Get off the phone quickly unless the convo is pretty good. Also, find creative ways to inject yourself into their minds. If you know their footy team, mes them during the game saying ‘ohhh what a goal..’ or something. But messages from you must be rare! Rare I say! So rare that when they receive the mes they say to themselves, ‘oh what a nice surprise’. If you’re a guy and you can slip something of yours into the chick’s handbag for her to find later, that’s a good reminder. Just a pen or something you won’t need, or that she won’t have to return. Which is another thing..

Presents

These are awesome, things they will immediately connect to you when they look at them. They can be gay little things like those toy rings you get out of the gumball machines, or a cd you’ve burnt for them, a flower you’ve picked for them or a handwritten note. Avoid big gifts, they will send a weird message, unless it’s their birthday.

Seriously, these are going to work. Its foolproof I tells ya! Anyway, I hope I’ve finally helped you all, was starting to get pretty worried about you kids and your missable-ness woes.

“Girl I’ll never find another,

Another one to take your place

Cause you were so, so good to me baby

And you kept the smile upon my face

And I’m on my bended knee and I’m crying,

Crying won’t you come back to me

Cause you mean the world to me

So tell me why.. why..

Why’d you have to go away

Got me missing you everyday

Everyday I’m missing you..”

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28 Responses to “How To Make Someone Miss You”

  1. This Devil's Workday Says:

    How about subconsciously making them feel good about themselves? Everyone wants to be around someone who makes them feel good, without dishing out overt compliments. Unless its a girl to a guy. I love it when girls compliment my new t-shirt, aftershave or whatever, but I never do it in return because it feels kind of awkward. Am I expected to?

    Anyway on the smell thing, I always remember somebodies smell. A mate of mine in high school used to always wear the same aftershave. All I have to be doing is walking down a street and if someone walks past me with it on it instantly reminds me of him and I look around for him, half-expecting he’ll be walking there.

    On a darker note there was this creepy guy in high school who had a bad body odour problem. One day I was standing there in gym and suddenly smelt it. I turned around and he was standing right behind me. Freaky.

  2. LuLi Says:

    Oh I can’t believe I forgot to mention that.. You’re so clever Mr. Workday (was that a good one? lol)!
    Compliments are very important, but as you say, not too over the top or blatant.
    The reply compliment after a compliment received can sometimes be insincere, but maybe you could just find another time to say one, girls love compliments because they’ve usually made a bit of effort (and who doesn’t love compliments!).
    Also ew to body odour guy. Gross.

  3. madz Says:

    Its such a shit that most of us are more worried about getting compliments and then trying harder to get more compliments than just being ourself .. We end up weaving ourselves in how people think and judge us .. that in the end we are only what people want us to be. I have seen way too many pals of mine go down that road. Its kind a thing one gets hooked on and then your whole life revolves around , your reason for happiness , for disappointment on others comments ..

    Think about it for a minute.. does it matter so much to you what people think bout you? Are you so insure of your ownself that you need compliments to feel your abilities? Does someone missing you make you feel that you are a worthy person? If so , i bet, you miss yourself the most.. How many of us sit down and real think who we really are.. what we really are ? All we care is to get judged by other people and believe that to be us… Damn.. I hate that shit! ..

  4. LuLi Says:

    madz, I’m a big believer in trying to be unaffected by compliments because to become happy from them is giving people the strings to play with your emotions, if you are unaffected their insults wont hurt you either.
    However, to do this all the time is very difficult, and maybe its better to have a bit of faith in humanity, that others might have our best interests at heart.
    I’m not going to be a product of the judgement of others, but I do miss people and people miss me back, its all part of the wonderful push and pull of the world and we’re a part of that.
    As you say though, there are a lot of people who buy into this game and it can become extremely unhealthy. I had a friend too, who changed her whole persona to become this self-absorbed, self serving and shallow person. She was my best friend, but in the end I couldn’t stand to be around her because she was constantly weaving conversations around how good she was and was always fishing for compliments from everyone. She used to be the best person in the world to talk with and turned into the most boring..

  5. josh Says:

    all those points are valid, but I feel that if someone is going to want to miss me, then it should be because they miss me, not what I found out to do online.
    but a lot of those things you talk about are about being a generally good person

  6. LuLi Says:

    I don’t guarantee them to work, and I don’t even know if you can make someone miss you. But I was posed with a challenge and I think if anything were to work these points would be it.
    I tend to miss the generally good people a lot more than the evil ones.

  7. mems Says:

    Hi! I just stumbled on to your blog and I was wondering where the screencaps are from….they look so beautiful!

  8. LuLi Says:

    They are all from different ones, and different websites, I had a big collection of pretty pictures of anime couples and characters that I’d been taking from all over the web for years. Unfortunately, I lost them all when my laptop crashed..

    Any google or photobucket search for ‘anime couples’ will bring up a lot of my pictures though. And also feel free to check through my posts and pick up any others you like, there are a lot of pretty ones in the archives.

  9. trisha cole Says:

    hi,i have this new friend i want to get close to,but im not too sure if this friend wants to get close this is why i want to make this friend miss me that way we might get close am i on the right path? Well i love the workpiece it is magnificent.Thumbsup girl.

  10. LuLi Says:

    Yea, its a good idea to try to be missable, you’re on the right path for sure. I’m no real expert though, I tend to think that the more fun you are to be around the more people will want you to stay. Good luck :)

  11. Den Relojo Says:

    The most flattering experience is being missed by someone else for simply being yourself.

  12. LuLi Says:

    Touche` Den.

  13. mo Says:

    hi i’m from kuwait and all i want to say is

    THANK YOU

  14. LuLi Says:

    Aw, cheers mo! And say hi to Kuwait for me :)

  15. anna Says:

    hehe…this is awesome…thanks

  16. LuLi Says:

    I please to aim!

  17. Gentleben Says:

    I really need some advice. my marriage has hit some rock times before but always come out of it ok. Recently my Wife has said that she wants me to change and is tired of paining over the cracks in our relationship. She told me that while i wass away for 4 months serving my country abroad that we should have a trial seperation and to see if she misses me (hence why i’m here) i keep having thinking the worst of what she is doing. she told me today that “she was tired of me suffurcating her” since i have been away she has had her hair cut and has started looking up old friends again.
    Have i pushed things too far? i really want to make my marriage work for us and our two children (4 and 1) can you think of any further advise? Please people i need some advice before i ruin it for sure.

  18. LuLi Says:

    Gentleben, it sounds like you’re doing everything you can to please her. What exactly does she want from you? You can’t be suffocating her when you’re away for four months, I mean you’re not even there. Ask her what you are doing wrong and then try to come up with a compromise. For example if she says you call too much, say that you at least get to speak to her once a day while you’re away. It’s really not that much effort or time, five minutes to ask how your day was isn’t going to kill anyone. Without knowing the situation, it’s hard for me to comment, but I would suggest some form of counselling to get the primary issues out into the open. Hope this helped.

  19. Gentleben Says:

    Thanks for the advice, i’d come to the counciling conclusion too. thanks again

  20. LuLi Says:

    No probs, it definitely seems like there is a block in your communication.

  21. Rya Says:

    yah, im missing him so much!!!!! i cant bear the feeling, i want ot know if his doing fine, or wondering if he even missing me after i say goodbye to him over the phone,

    GOD! i miss you!
    how i wish u also missing me
    but my damn pride wont let me cheapen myself
    even though deep down inside of me i cant help
    i miss you!! i miss you!! i miss you!
    i miss those times we’ve been through
    and those things that i wish we could have to

    my oh my, naging makata na ko,
    anyway, i hope it will fade soon….

  22. LuLi Says:

    Rya, I know exactly how you feel, and so do many other people. This page gets nearly the most hits on my entire blog! Its hard to miss someone, but hang in there :) I hope it works out for you..

  23. emotional breakdown Says:

    I recently had a relationship melt down where she broke things off with me. I tried and tried to just have the opportunity to speak with her, but she was cold, colder than the south or north poles. I know that she loves or atleast loved me, but I am still waiting by the phone hoping that she will call. I just want to talk things over and try to better understand her as an individual and to let her understand me as an individual. We haven’t had that many arguements, just a few, but apparently they were enough. I would’ve possibly married her if she would’ve only worked with me. I truly believe that arguments not only can break you up, but they can also strenghten the relationship if everyone is willing to work. Anything worth having is worth fighting for, call me a dumbass if you will, but I just want her to miss me and call me to work through this..How do I do so???Get her to miss me?????

  24. LuLi Says:

    The best way is to go out and do your own thing and act like you don’t miss her. If someone is pulling away from you, the worst mistake people make is to cling harder to bring them back. It has the opposite effect of what you would want to happen. Go out, have fun, meet people, let it get back to her that you’re moving on and she will probably come back wondering why you’re not missing her. And remember that you can’t make anyone stay with you, they have to want to be there.

  25. Airlina Says:

    Fantastic blog ^__________^

    There was a guy I met last September, I saw a photo of him and somehow I just knew that something would happen between us. We met in person eventually (I first saw him on Facebook on a mutual friend’s page) and indeed, it was instant chemistry. It was magical… truly.

    He then became weird and distant after a few weeks. I should mention here that, without wanting to come across a bit odd, i tend to go for men that would not really appear to be conventionally good looking, and he seemed to create this big divide between us and constantly told me that he was out of my league and that i deserved better. I constantly reassured him… but to no avail. He ended up in a relationship with someone else. It hurt so much that I ended all communication.

    A couple of months later, he got in touch again, saying how sorry he was, and that he really missed me. We met up a couple of times and had the most wonderful, amazing nights together. I know, i’m horrible. He had a girlfriend, and i really do not make a habit of that kind of thing, but, he was/is probably the absolute love of my life… and i just couldn’t say no. I genuinely thought that he was going to end it.

    Eventually i confronted him about it and he said he was definitely going to end it with her and he’d wanted to be with me more, always had, but worried that i’d end up hurting him because i’d realise he was “nothing special”, he was worried what people would say when they saw us together etc. I reassured him yet again and all seemed well. But then, just as before, weeks later he became distant, he stayed with her. I think he’s genuinely a good person and just doesn’t want to hurt this other girl.. but the waiting hurt my heart, hurt my pride, so i ceased all communication again, because it was just too hard.

    It’s been about 2 months since then and it seems that i just miss him more and more each day… it does not get any easier! I told him not to get in touch again because i just couldn’t stand the hurt anymore… but now i’m starting to regret it and wish that we could talk again, but i’m so incredibly reluctant to start it all up again incase i’d end up hurting even more. But i feel like i;ve reached the point where I just have to see him, and i can;t really hurt anymore than I do already. I feel like this situation clouds absolutely everything i do. Im a shadow of the person i used to me, i miss him, and i know he had feelings for me once upon a time, amybe he still does.

    One morning back when were were in our element, we laid together for hours, listening to one of my music playlists, he liked it a lot and asked for a copy, which i made for him. Yesterday I made another compilation similar to that one and have written a small letter telling him that i hope he’s well, etc etc… I want to post it… i really do. But i’m just not sure…

    I love this man. I never told him that. But i really do. Ugh… it’s so horrible…! This article has given me some fabulous pointers and has made me wonder even more if i should get in contact again, just to be a part of his life again. Even if it were just a text here and there…. then I can try these points!

    Thanks for listening to me ramble!!

    x

  26. LuLi Says:

    That sounds like quite the saga and I hope it works out for you, but I don’t really think its nice to be messing with someone who has a gf.. Its a sore spot for me as I left a boy earlier this year for playing up. Remember that at any point he could leave his girl but has chosen not to and use that as a point to see that he doesn’t respect you enough to have you. You deserve better. And please try to consider that girls feelings.

    Apart from that I know what its like to miss someone a lot, but mostly lately i feel like if they’re not missing me, then whats the point? I’m a fun girl, I would rather be out having fun with the other ppl I meet than pining over the ones I don’t get to see.

    Take care & good luck :)

  27. Eloy Says:

    My best friend and I decided to become bf/gf over the summer because we know each other inside and out. We met during her senior year and we stayed in contcact since. She asked me to attend the same college as her because we wanted to be with each other. As soon as that happened, she dropped me for no reason. She dated another guy who was an ex of one of our mutual friends. They never knew each other inside and out but we did. She is now single and I really love her. She loved me before she gave me the cold shoulder but now that she is away from the guy who cheated on his previous ex, I want to rebuild our friendship and relationship. Who should make the first move? Should I play the waiting game? If so, for how long should I ignore her? When should I/Should I even make contact with her or wait for her to come to me? I really love this girl. My friends and family are telling me to find another, but this one makes me happy and makes me smile.

  28. LuLi Says:

    Eloy, that is an awesome name, first off. Anyways, dropping you for no reason and giving you the cold shoulder is pretty harsh.. Do you believe someone who did that to you respects you very much? And if you think it was under circumstances you can forgive, what makes you think she won’t do it again?

    She should make the first move, and when she does, you should ignore her. And when she tries again, you should ignore her again. And then when she tries again you should listen to her sorries and excuses for making you follow her to her college where she then dumped you. And when she asks you to get back together you should tell her you will think about it and then… never get back to her.

    And then you should go find someone else.

    Your best friend owes you more than that, and you will find someone else believe me. You’re in the best years of your life, don’t waste them on someone who doesn’t appreciate you.

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