“I miss you so much
I long for your love
It scares me
Coz my heart gets so weak
That I can’t even breathe
How can you take things so easily?
Baby, why aren’t you missing me?”
For as long as I’ve had this blog people have been attracted to its pages in search of the secrets on ‘how to make someone miss you’. I thought that perhaps they’d die off, but I’m still getting heaps of hits from the phrase. Unfortunately the closest I came to it were some lyrics from the Aaliyah song ‘Miss You’ and the rest of the words found somewhere scattered along that post.
Well no more. I’m going to do my best to help these poor souls who cannot for the life of them get someone to miss them. My heart goes out to you, I’ve felt it. Lets just think about it logically. It’s not even a hard task. First think of the people you yourself have missed and why you missed them.
For one reason or the other, their company was enjoyable. The people I miss dearly usually have some character traits in common. So all we need to do is copy them.
You don’t want them to ever get bored while talking to you. If you don’t naturally have the talent of spinning conversation, then do some reading on a few interesting topics (or subjects your missed one is into) and casually weave them into conversation. Bring something new to the table, teach them something and argue from a unique point of view.
You always remember that night you went on the ferris wheel, compared to the million nights you spent in the same hang out, doing the same things. Do different and interesting things together. Go for drunken walks along Southbank or have a meal at a restaurant with unusual food. Go ice skating or to the comedy club (which can be pretty gay but at least you can tear it to shreds in review together later). Be spontaneous.
This is a bit harder because, lets be honest, who can force being funny? Sometimes coming off forced or not being sure of a joke can ruin a whole convo. But a friend will generally find anything you say a lot funnier just because it was you that said it. Same goes for a missed one. Give it a crack, just be a bit playful and clever. It will lighten the mood and that brings me to my next point.
Keep It Light
If they initiate a deep and meaningful then fair enough, but if not then going into intense things are just going to make someone feel like they’re being drained. Deep conversations take a lot of energy and thought, just don’t go there. Be happy, laugh things off and don’t take anything too seriously.
You want them to have a gorgeous visual when thinking of you. Mostly their memory of you will be the last time they saw you, or how you look in general when they see you. That means it’s very important that you look your best each time. Try to wear something different when they see you, with one article being impressive (eg. Big, jewelled earrings, a flattering dress or colourful stilettos [If you are a man please ignore the brackets]).
Incorporate The Other Senses
We don’t just remember conversations and what we see. Smell is supposed to be the best trigger of memories, so wear a perfume, cologne or use scented body oil so that they can associate a certain smell with you. They might not remember the exact smell, but anything it kinda smelled like will remind them of you.
Also, touch them. Don’t be too over the top about it, but touch their arm and nudge them while you are walking together. Or hug them spontaneously, in a laughing, joking kind of way. Generally we are not an overly affectionate society so touch shocks people and they remember it.
Don’t Overstay Your Welcome
Short fun periods of time are way better than sticking around and shit getting boring and awkward. I couldn’t think of anything worse. When I visit people, they’re lucky if I stay two hours, unless we’re drinking together or doing something good. I stay until the convo starts to get stale or the fun is over, unless you’re willing to make me a cup of tea.
When You’re Not With Them
Don’t be easy to get a hold of. Wait a couple of hours before you reply. Don’t pick up the phone, call them back 20 mins later. Or if you can’t handle that just wait a few rings. Get off the phone quickly unless the convo is pretty good. Also, find creative ways to inject yourself into their minds. If you know their footy team, mes them during the game saying ‘ohhh what a goal..’ or something. But messages from you must be rare! Rare I say! So rare that when they receive the mes they say to themselves, ‘oh what a nice surprise’. If you’re a guy and you can slip something of yours into the chick’s handbag for her to find later, that’s a good reminder. Just a pen or something you won’t need, or that she won’t have to return. Which is another thing..
These are awesome, things they will immediately connect to you when they look at them. They can be gay little things like those toy rings you get out of the gumball machines, or a cd you’ve burnt for them, a flower you’ve picked for them or a handwritten note. Avoid big gifts, they will send a weird message, unless it’s their birthday.
Seriously, these are going to work. Its foolproof I tells ya! Anyway, I hope I’ve finally helped you all, was starting to get pretty worried about you kids and your missable-ness woes.
“Girl I’ll never find another,
Another one to take your place
Cause you were so, so good to me baby
And you kept the smile upon my face
And I’m on my bended knee and I’m crying,
Crying won’t you come back to me
Cause you mean the world to me
So tell me why.. why..
Why’d you have to go away
Got me missing you everyday
Everyday I’m missing you..”