Over The Sexism

In the past I never really noticed this, but the global attitude towards women is bullshit. I’m getting more and more offended by the stupid things people say without even knowing the mindset they’re perpetuating. It becomes extremely frustrating when it comes from the mouths of women and this is where my post is derived from.

I was visiting a friend and his mates girlfriend was sitting with us, we were watching neighbours or home and away and the topic turned to rape from one of the storylines. The girlfriend goes, “She was a dicktease though, its her own fault.” Me and my friend exchanged looks and I tried my best not to be angry while I explained that this notion of hers was a tactic used in victim blaming.

My fucking god. If this girl herself had been raped, would she feel the same way? I know this is a common idea amongst people and it shouldn’t piss me off so much, but the fact that it came from a female just killed my life. We’ve been so brainwashed by the media and the bullshit that our women are taking part in the female bashing without even realising they are doing it.

Despite how crap the Sex And The City movie was, I hate hearing men say they hate the show because the women are sluts. I’ve heard it from that many guys that I’m starting to wonder if there is any other valid reason. How can they call them sluts, you all know where I’m going with this.. If it was a guy there would be no issue.

Go fuck yourself with your whore vs virgin mentality, mainstream media. You pull down any girl who dares to exercise her sexuality, and those who try to preserve it, you insist on pulling down and throwing their names through the mud. Women are allowed to party. This does not mean we are whores. I’m sick of seeing footage of Lindsay Lohan leaving hotel rooms in the morning. You gave her a freakin mental breakdown, isn’t that enough?

I hate the player blogs, that aim at targeting womens insecurities and flaws to make them feel inadequate and want to impress the guy, which turns to that guy getting what he wants. I understand some guys have confidence problems but theres a difference between using body language and smart conversation to find a relationship compared to getting sex for the night. I hate that the tone of these blogs are bitter and seem to be getting revenge against all the ‘hot girls’ who ever turned them down in their lives. You are sad, pathetic little men and one day you will realise that notches mean nothing and you based your lives on shallow, hateful bullshit.

Well, I’m leaving it at that. Right now I’m not educated enough on the topic to pull the world apart, but I’ll be revisiting this. Ciao.

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15 Responses to “Over The Sexism”

  1. ubuntucat Says:

    Women who blame other women for being raped are throwing up a defense mechanism. It’s a way of pretending the world is safe, that they have control. In other words, if it’s your fault for being raped, that means I won’t be raped. I’m safe from rape, because rape happens to only dickteases. It won’t happen to me.

  2. LuLi Says:

    I never thought about it that way, ubuntucat. It kind of makes sense in a weird way. I shouldn’t be so harsh on her. Thanks for your comment 🙂

  3. WendySkeleton Says:

    ubuntucat brings out a good point, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t talk about it.

    I’m a feminist myself, and that whole, “She asked for it” concept is highly flawed, and victim blaming is NOT cool. We need to bring people’s attention to this kind of attitude towards rape. The way advertising and movies/TV look at rape is REALLY creepy, as in, most of the ads actually think that stalking is okay (not really rape there, but it’s getting close).

    Examples: http://feministing.com/archives/009414.html

    http://feministing.com/archives/009429.html

    http://feministing.com/archives/009421.html

    The way we view women today is really alarming, and the popular culture today as a whole is quite misogynistic.

    Yeah, you’re going to make people uncomfortable if you point it out, but it’s the only way people are going to correct their attitudes towards women. Take it from me. When I hear someone use misogynistic language like, “You’re a pussy” or “You fight like a girl”, I object to it and attempt to explain why they shouldn’t use such language. Most of the time, it’s a lot of excuses like, “It’s not sexist!” or “Why do you have to censor me, you frigid bitch?!”, but even so, I’m still getting my message out there and someone out there reading it will probably understand why such language is wrong.

    But I digress, and I’m going off at a tangent.

  4. Andy Says:

    Ubuntucat makes a very interesting point.

    Something that always puzzles me is the way that a woman is either depitced as a sexual being, or as an intellectual, but rarely both simultaneously. It seems to be propagating the idea that, as you put it, women can only either be sluts or virgins, with nothing in between.

    I think this is why “Sex and the City” was considered so revolutionary. The characters were women who were both smart AND sexual, and as irritating as the show was to me, it was a relatively new way of depicting women on television.

    Obviously, the “blame the victim” mentality is awful, but in the case of rape it has been prevalent for generations. It reinforces the belief that arseholes don’t have to be responsible for their actions because of the inane suggestion that a man can’t be expected to control himself around an exposed pair of tits. The same justification is used by idiots who cheat on their partners. Women buy the idea far too often in that case, as well.

    Great blog.

  5. LuLi Says:

    Wendy – The victim blaming is horrible, the worst part is a lot of victims subject themselves to it and feel guilt for what someone else has put them through. A common belief is that if the woman dressed a certain way, or even if she is a prostitute she deserves the rape. I find it very hard to find a way to defend this properly, I know its wrong but I find it hard to articulate why so I usually turn to statistics like how many men have planned the rape ages beforehand and the percentage of men who already knew the victim, but I’m honestly not educated about it enough so thank you for the links.

    Andy – The Sex and the City series was ground breaking for women, it was finally percieved ok for them to enjoy sex. It can cross the line and can even go the other way to sexist in some parts but as a whole it promoted the strong and self sufficient woman, that the world was not yet willing to see. I’m down with your uncovered meat point and I’m so sick of hearing the excuse that men cannot control their urges because they are men. Its bullshit, everybody has willpower, and you’ve got to be a fucked up man to want to put a woman through that kind of torment.

  6. This Devil's Workday Says:

    I’ve never come across any “player blogs” but someone once told me about the kinds of stuff they say to women and I couldn’t help but laugh. Stuff like “tell me about the greatest moment of your life” and shit like that. I reckon most women would just laugh and think you’re a wanker for it.

    As for the rest of the stuff… I think I might just keep out of this one for fear of saying the wrong thing lol. And by that, I don’t mean I disagree at all, I do agree, it just seems like the kind of moment I’ll say the wrong thing. I have never really given sexism too much thought – which is probably a typical male thing to do, right?

  7. LuLi Says:

    Really? I see them all the time and some of the stuff they write is so horrible that I don’t even want to comment on them because I don’t want to give that stupidity the time of day.

    I don’t think you’d say the wrong thing, but I know what you mean.. I don’t even want to comment on some things because I feel like I’ll get them wrong too. I think most people don’t realise exactly how much sexism does affect them, but once you start to see it you can’t turn it off and now I’m seeing it everywhere.

  8. This Devil's Workday Says:

    I probably thought I would say the wrong thing because you made me realise I kind of had a bit of a whore vs virgin mentality. If someone asked me, I would say it is sexist the way that guys are encouraged to sleep around and women aren’t – and I would’ve thought I meant it. But you made me realise that when friends of mine who are girls start doing that us guys tend to discourage it because we don’t want them to get a reputation.

    A double standard I didn’t realise I even had. So thanks for showing me that.

  9. LuLi Says:

    Well I’m really glad to have helped you change your perspective and as you say you were already onto the notion, just hadn’t put the idea into action in your head. Thanks for reading this with an open mind.

  10. rayedish Says:

    Great post Luli. I’m too tired to comment further (my brain is fudge tonight) but I like what you have to say.

  11. LuLi Says:

    Thanks for that Rayedish, I know you have strong feelings about these issues too so its nice to hear that from you.

  12. gullybogan Says:

    We had this book in high school on the role of women in Australian History, and it was called “Damned Whores and God’s Police”, which just about summed up the two contrasting roles that women could hold throughout most of our two centuries of trying to build a society.

    I’d like to think that we’re more enlightened now than in them olden times, but i suspect that there’s still a lot of misogyny out there, and a fair share of it, as you point out, seems to come from women themselves.

    There’s more to this than the relatively simple problem of sexual double standards, too. But that’s the public face of the issue, since sexual intercourse seems to be pretty much the focus of modern life.

    It’s a pity that we use one of our most animal aspects to define ourselves as sentient beings.

  13. LuLi Says:

    That book sounds charming. I think we’re more enlightened to accept women as equals on the surface, but scratch a bit away and the old school ideas are sometimes still there.
    Thats an interesting point you raise about sex making the world go round, I often believe this myself.

  14. Kedar Says:

    Hello Luli,

    Very nice post.

    I think a lot of this “victim blaming” for rape case comes from our psychology. Generally it is accepted in society that men will always want sex. Women are always expected to be more careful about sex as they have to live with consequences. So the entire burden of making right choice of time, place and partner for sex rests on a woman’s shoulder. This eventually leads to expectation higher standard of morality from women in every aspect of life.

    This is how “burn the bitch” syndrome is born.

    I am not justifying it. I am just guessing why we are here. There is not doubt that this needs to be changed.

  15. LuLi Says:

    It is definitely our psychology. There is some fundamental aspect of our thought process that puts sex as a shameful act for women and an achievement for men. Unfortunately I don’t think we’re at a point where we can make much change, when a big chunk of society has yet to see a problem.

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