I Love My Intarwebs

You know, I’m gonna be real with you all. I love the internet. I’m IN LOVE with the internet, I have been ever since I was first introduced to it in primary school. I can’t go a day without it. Its an obsessive love, constantly checking up on it for updates, new stories, new posts, new comics, new gossip, new games. Its a controlling love too, I mean I can’t handle someone on my laptop for one minute, I get jealous. Even if I wasn’t on there, I might have been doing something else, as soon as they ask me for my log in password I silently crack the shits.

But it provides me with so much.. There are new people just waiting to be chatted to, or commented on, 24-7 interaction waiting to be had. When I first had the internet at home when I was about 13, thats what I was obsessed with. Teen chat, forums, mIRC, msn. Even before I had the net I loved this program my dad had where you would type something and the computer would chat back to you, like a bot. When my curfew was lifted at about 16 or 17, I soon got over it. I swapped chat for parties.

The laughs to be had are endless, if you know where to look. When I was bored at my old work I spent hours (that ran into days & weeks) trawling through the QDB and Bash archives finding the best of the best quotes and compiling them into a list which I sent to my (for the most part unimpressed) friends. Let me share with you some of my beloved ones, if you want the entire list email me:

<remial> gah…
<remial> I was visiting my college roommate earlier today…
<remial> his ex-GF and his daughter were there…
<remial> they were in the other room watching cartoons or something…
<remial> and my friend asked me how my life was going, and I told him that things wre OK but it felt like there was some sort of consperacy to keep me from getting laid…
<remial> his ex GF immediatly calls someone on her Cel phone and says “He knows”

<+darthpony> geez dude
<+darthpony> with my last gf
<+darthpony> I made the most terrible fruedian slip
<+darthpony> we were sitting at breakfast the one day, and I wanted to ask her “pass the sugar please”
<+darthpony> instead I said “you’re ruining my life, you fucking bitch”

<DaZE> at my school.. the cop from DARE passed around 3 joints to show everyone… and he said “if i dont get all three of these back this schools getting locked down and everyones getting searched till i find it..” and like 30 minutes later when everyone got to see ’em and they got passed back the cop had 4

[orion] my knife just beeped like a cellphone when i touched it
[orion] time to lay off the booze
[orion] it was three electronical tones
[orion] it went
[orion] bo BO BOOP
[cmplx] don’t answer it.

<@Afterglow> what’s the point of irc anyway
<@Afterglow> everyone idles
< destruct> the “point” is that if you take the third word spoken on the second tuesday of every month of the the third person down in each channel you visit on irc, they will form a description of the path to the lost city of

<slackor> maybe, send me your pic first. last person i met off the net turned out to be 12 FBI agents

<redbud> so i was sitting there listening to some ska with your girlfriend
<redbud> then all of a sudden she started making sexual advances towards me
<Micah> wait a second
<Micah> nobody listens to ska

NgOs_WiLL: how many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
NgOs_WiLL: One to change it and fifteen to form a support group!
E30SupeR: it’s a trick question – feminists can’t change anything.

<tetsuo> why do our bathroom signs at work have braille on them?
<tetsuo> for that matter, why do any?
<tetsuo> what kind of cruel fuck wouldn’t lead a blind person to a bathroom?
<tetsuo> “I’m kinda busy so here’s what you’re going to do. Walk down this hallway for about 40 feet. You’ll come to an intersection, take a left down that hallway and walk another 20. On your right you’ll encounter two doors. Now, I can’t tell you which is which, you’ll just have to find that out on your own.”

I think of myself as an internet expert, although I only am in comparison to my offline friends. I love quizzes as well. I’ve done thousands of them, my favourites were the ones on Quizilla, that were user created and came with an anime picture with the result. Thats when I began my huge anime picture collection, some of which I’ve included on this blog. I also started lurking on the imageboards, wastelands of the internet that they are, but every once and a while I’d find something amusing.

I never checked out blogs until about a year ago. I didn’t see the point of reading someone’s online diary, I likened it to Myspace and other ego-centric web pages. But I came across a very watered down kind of paid blog on The Age website, and I suddenly got it. It was like amateur journalism or reality tv. And after that I couldn’t get enough. Because if you own a blog, you’re a child of the internet too. You relate to me. I used to think it was wack I spent so much time online, but I found out I’m one of many. Its like having a special culture.

So, to conclude, I love you internet. Never leave me.


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11 Responses to “I Love My Intarwebs”

  1. This Devil's Workday Says:

    I don’t think I’ve even heard of all those places on the net uve been to. The only things i really use the net for are uni email, this, and some news sites, and youtube occasionally.

    Btw, i love that cat picture, and yet I dont quite get it…

  2. LuLi Says:

    Ohh TDW you haven’t lived! I never got into the youtube thing though, I always prefer to read over watching. The cat picture is mimicking Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas, which is a movie you’ve probably seen.. And its also a popular book.

  3. WendySkeleton Says:

    “it’s a trick question – feminists can’t change anything.”: LMAO! I laughed at that so hard.

  4. j.... Says:

    at my school.. the cop from DARE passed…

    /me dies.

  5. LuLi Says:

    Wendy & J – If you enjoy those ones you should check the links out, theres way more funnier ones, thousands and thousands, that I didn’t include and probably cater to your humour more than I do.. I swear, so much entertainment!

  6. This Devil's Workday Says:

    Actually I’ve never seen the movie, but freakishly a mate at uni mentioned it today!

  7. LuLi Says:

    Oh, really? What a spin out.. Should watch it, its really good.

  8. kaboose84 Says:

    woo! we’re all internet babies!

  9. LuLi Says:

    Domino, it could be the new nationality.. What is Australia anyway? Its not global enough for me. Lets be Internetalian, or Interwebese.

  10. This Devil's Workday Says:

    Oh my God. Internetalian. Please, let us start a movement to make that the demonym.

  11. LuLi Says:

    I’m down with it, Allah knows I love a good movement!

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