What Really Goes On At A Bucks?

“I know you wanna get laid tonight

But I’m trying to get paid tonight

We ain’t even gotta fuss and fight

Just hit me right, its on all night

I know you wanna get in bed with me

But you’ve gotta come correctly

Nothing in life is free, especially not me..”

The alleged rape of the best man by the stripper at a bucks party is currently headlining on The Age website. As far as I can tell, it’s his word against hers and it’s pretty doubtful that we’re ever going to get the full story. She alleges he pushed back into her while she was playing around with a sex toy, and that it was an accident. She also says the men were using speed and cocaine and were offering it to her.

The best man apparently punched her in the back of the head but he denies it and all the guys at the party back up his story. Which is to be expected. They say the rape went on for about one second. I’m not sure why this is important, one second of rape is obviously going to be just as traumatic as sixty.

I’m not really going to comment on it, it seems fucked up all around, which is fitting for a bucks party. I thought strippers didn’t touch guys? But then, that makes me think of the other secret I’ve been told, about the secret men’s rule of bucks parties.

Apparently ladies, all men cheat on their buck’s night, and there is a secret code of honour amongst men not to tell anyone about it, so that on their own bucks night nobody tells on them either. The men who told me about this were adamant that it was true, that even my dear brother would have done the dirty before he married my sister in law last year. And of course any guy I have spoken to after has denied it as false, which just seems to fit perfectly with their code.

Everybody knows that a bucks night is a way for all the friends of the buck to have their final chance at stopping the wedding, and preventing their friend being lost to them through marriage. Back in the day, the end result of a bucks was to leave the buck tied up somewhere, miles away from where the wedding would take place, possibly covered in fish oil and shaving cream.

These days it seems to have taken more of a sexual deviant road, a stripper is mandatory, as with crazy drunkenness. And at my older brothers own bucks night, my little brother had some kind of crazy experience with the stripper, that no one will comment on that’s driving me mad! I really want to know what went on, especially considering he was only sixteen.. But this goddamn code of men’s buck night silence shit is seemingly impenetrable (nice choice of words eh?) and quite frankly I’m also kinda scared to know. I do want to be able to look him in the face without blushing.

“I’m in love with a stripper

She poppin, she rollin, she rollin

She climbin that pole and

I’m in love with a stripper

She trippin, she playin, she playin

I’m not goin nowhere girl I’m stayin..”

Do strippers, in your experience, ever cross the line with the no touching rule? Or the no sexual favours rule? Or whatever rules they have, have you witnessed anything you thought to be a little bit crazy at a private viewing in a home, or at a party? I was under the impression that there was no touching apart from a little bit of caressing and so forth, although I do remember as a young girl when a stripper came to a party next door, and the kids were locked up inside, that one man came out with some lipstick on the crotch of his jeans.

So, I want to know.. What secret stuff goes on at a bucks night? Does the buck always or *ever* have sex with another woman, as I was told? I don’t want reassurance here, I want brutal honesty! Comment under an alias or be anonymous if you wish, this is your one chance to break the code without fear of reprisal.


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18 Responses to “What Really Goes On At A Bucks?”

  1. Domino Says:

    Are you being sarcastic with the one second rape thing? you are, right?
    Stripper not touching, I doubt it…maybe the strippers are also prostitutes..that seems logical…and would explain a lot.

  2. LuLi Says:

    No, I mean, penetration is penetration, its still rape.. it shouldn’t matter how long it went on for, that should have no bearing on the act. If I was raped even for one second I wouldn’t want the guy to be able to trivialise it by saying “oh but it was just for one second..” you know what I mean?

    I’ve thought about that too, Domino, maybe there are some strippers who wouldn’t mind going further for a bit of extra money.. or is that a horrible thing to say :S I don’t know..

  3. This Devil's Workday Says:

    OK… honestly?

    Anyone who says that ALL guys will cheat at their bucks is lying. Anyone who does cheat at their bucks is a prick.

    I’m not simply upholding the code here. Buck’s parties aren’t all that bad and mysterious as guys would like you to believe. Any guy who cheats on his bucks night is probably going to cheat anyway. I’ve never even heard anyone say that this is what is meant to happen at a bucks party, and I’ve been to a few. I’ve only ever heard it on TV.

    As for the strippers and touching…. guys have to keep their hands to themselves. But some girls will grab the guys hands and place them on their body, move the hands around etc. I don’t know why they do it, whether they think they’ll get a return customer of if she thinks the guy is cute. I have no idea. Despite recent evidence to suggest otherwise, my stripper experience is limited to about three visits and a 21st (which like I said, ended in disaster).

  4. clubwah Says:

    I don’t know one guy who cheated on his nucks night – it’s about having a last big night out with the mates, not a last chance to shag someone else.

    As for strippers you get what you pay for. Part of this woman’s act was probably to use dildos on herself and to tease the guy with them. Some strippers will only strip, others will provide sex – I was at one bucks’s night where there was a door prize and the winner got oral sex from the stripper in the private.

    Most strippers at say footy club fundraisers, bucks nights and the like will simply strip and then get out of there and do the same thing at several different parties in one night. They will also be accompanied by a minder.

    Apart from the odd lewd comment most guys are respectful during her show and see it simply as entertainment – the happening sin this “rape” case are very unusual.

  5. clubwah Says:

    nuck’s night? Bugger!

  6. clubwah Says:

    One more thing Luli – a lot of bucks night I’ve been to were attended by the bride’s dad and brothers. Who would have sex with a stripper with the in laws there.

    You really want to know what goes on? Loud music, some flesh to look at and a lot of talking shit.

  7. LuLi Says:

    TDW – Perhaps it comes down to the guys who told me, and what kind of people they are. They were some old Lebanese friends I used to have and these particular guys weren’t exactly the epitome of respecters of women. So the women can touch them, but guys aren’t returned the favour? I guess thats fair, they’re the ones who are drunk.

    Wah – Ohh, BJ’s?! Man, I hope the winner didn’t have a mrs waiting at home. So they can get a lil extra on some occasions, if they pay for it.. I did also ask the brother question and these guys were of the mind that brothers accepted it as part of the Bucks Night Rule. Probably talking shit though, unless they’re really that fucked up in their circle.

  8. gullybogan Says:

    I’ve not been to many bucks’ nights, but one i went to at a strip club offered plenty of opportunity for sexual penetration of (rather than by) a stripper, and it didn’t happen.

    The buck’s best mate paid for a private booth for the guy, but all he got was mussel in his face a few times and his (fully-clothed) lap sat actually on for a tenth of a second.

    Normally exotic dancers won’t touch you, or let you touch them, but sometimes there is touching (by the dancer). If they think you’re cute, they might touch you lightly somewhere innocuous.

    That’s as i know, anyways. Others might know different like.

    And now that we’ve shared our secret mens’ business with you, you are an official honorary man. Enjoy.

  9. Andy Says:

    Yeah, I’ve been to a couple, and I don’t know of anyone who has cheated- or at least not by the regular definition. I mean, using your teeth to pull a string of pearls out of a strange vag for the entertainment of your close friends doesn’t really count, does it?

    The whole code of silence thing is hugely overplayed. Your brother probably just got himself a faceful of tit or had a muff rubbed on his nose for a couple of seconds or something. Sure, not the sort of thing you’d want to tell your mother about, but nothing TOO extreme. Keeping it secret just sort of adds to the mystique.

  10. LuLi Says:

    Gully – Nice. When do I get the badge and the keyring? So, everyone seems to be of the opinion that if you’re cute you can get a bit further.. I spose stripper girls get lonely too.

    Andy – I know women that would flip the fuck out if they heard of their man doing that pearl act.. I remember at a party once the girls were locked outside and my sisters boyfriend *somehow* got separated from us to the group that had the stripper in it. When he got back out, there was hell to pay.. I can still hear my sisters cries of “I hope it was fucking worth it!”

  11. Evil Bill Says:

    I’m having mine in a couple of months. Won’t be any of that going on, just a Hunter S. Thompson theme and a mountain of drugs. I’m actually breaking the rules and having girls along. Haven’t decided if we’ll even go to a strip bar yet, the important thing is that we all party hard for 15 hours, remembering the days when we used to party like this every weekend, instead of on special occasions.

  12. Domino Says:

    Ohhhh yeah I get ya.
    Though I doubt 1 second of rape would be as traumatic as 60 seconds…

  13. LuLi Says:

    Evil Bill – I wouldn’t mine having something like that for my own hens night, I’m more friends with guys anyway so it would be better to have a mixed night instead of just a hens night. In my experience, hens nights are annoying, boring and embarrassing.

    Domino – Yeah, I just don’t want to think of it as being taken away from the badness of the act.

  14. raydixon Says:

    I used to live on the Mornington Peninsula where “it” happened and the story does not surprise me. There’s something about that area when it comes to lewd sex acts, goes on all the time. As for “cheating”, it’s the local passtime.

    PS: That’s why I moved, it was all beneath me.

  15. LuLi Says:

    Oh, okay its no good over there, huh? I know Frankston is bad but I haven’t been around that side enough, except for Rye.

  16. raydixon Says:

    Try Mt Eliza or Mt Martha, LuLi. Swingers heaven!

  17. gullybogan Says:

    raydixon >> Australian Crawl immortalised the bayside swinger lifestyle in ‘Beautiful People’. Those guys were all from the posh side of the peninsula. Or so i was told.

  18. raydixon Says:

    You got it. The Reynes boys are ex Peninsula Grammar – Mt Eliza. So was Stewart Loewe (ex St Kilda ‘super star’) but he’s straight.

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