I Spiked My Own Punch

I am suffering from possibly part 1 of a two day hang over. I just can’t see this baby packing up anytime soon, and it’s all my fault. I don’t really have the guilts, thank fuck, because I spent most of the night drinking punch in a chair, wishing we weren’t talking about the chords that make up the song ‘Glycerine’. I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up with my impromptu fruit punch party.

See the plan was, go shopping with my sis, buy her some nice outfits and at least one for myself, then go home and make some really alcoholic fruit punch, coz I’d gotten a random punch craving throughout the week. Then I’d subtly play some r&b in the background, subconsciously reminding her that she likes to dance. By around midnight, she would be up for clubbing and we could go party in our new outfits, and possibly flirt with attractive club boys.

This is what I learnt at my punch party:

My sisters boyfriend will almost certainly crash, and with his addition to the circle the punch gets 200% more alcoholic, where the recipe goes from half a bottle of vodka and a bit of champagne with pineapple juice, orange juice, red powerade and strawberry slices to a full bottle of vodka, and two full bottles of champagne into the aforementioned mix.

If a boyfriend crashes, all the boys are automatically invited, the footy goes on tv (not like I don’t like footy, but it stifles interaction) and the guitar comes out, and any plans I might have had for a coercion of clubbing is thrown to the winds.

Even though I never went anywhere, didn’t fall over, was extra careful with my new François inspired dress, I will still at some point do something (What? What was it?) to make a hole in my stockings. This is the universal Luli rule of stockings, if you wear them, you will hole them. It’s like I kicked myself in the upper thigh with the heel of my stiletto! I guess those pilates are working.

When the insanely deceptively alcoholic punch runs out because the boys are in love with it, as it reminds them of their boys only trip to Bali, switching to wine (which you never drink, that ALWAYS gets you wasted, and has so far never failed to make you violently ill of the mouth) is not the best idea. Especially when you’re compensating for your boredom by drinking faster.

You may not be in a club or bar, but that won’t stop someone from bringing a random drunk guy who will follow you around all night, hit on you, and tell you he’s changed since the last time you saw him (with grazes all over his face from passing out on a chair and falling out of it onto the concrete). He’s not a “mess” anymore. When you tell him you don’t care and that you are a mess yourself so it’s not that bad, he will regale you of the time he *almost* but sorta technically didn’t have sex in the middle of a dance floor. Charming. DISENGAGE!

My friend who cheated on his girl didn’t do it the night I suspected, it was actually a long time ago, and somehow that still doesn’t make it any better.

When you start to get harsh and painful stomach cramps from the fruit punch and have to lay on the bathroom floor for a little bit to catch your breath, its probably time to stop, not to strategically vomit, brush yourself off and get back on the horse with a fresh glass of fruity death (and THEN go onto wine later).

– If you manage to stumble up to the second floor, but it curiously feels like its tilting from one side to the other, you may as well forget bedtime for now and head straight to the bathroom. Trust me, I’m saving you some time.

See what I mean? I have no-one to blame but myself.


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15 Responses to “I Spiked My Own Punch”

  1. j.. Says:

    hah… one day, u will look back at all «this»… and miss it!

    for an enhancement, my, «our» very own modified bellini recipe…

    in a large jar…

    1l peach nectar
    1l peach schnapps
    200ml soft tasting vodka (finlandia or moskowskaya, all others suck).

    some «smart electronica» cd(s).
    a male companion u won’t mind too much to… or another liberated, attractive, woman.

    u’ll see!

    go for it, then tell us the story! 🙂

  2. This Devil's Workday Says:

    All dressed up with nowhere to go? Nothing is more frustrating that being the only one who wants to leave the house.

    Sounds like you got drunker than I did this weekend so thank God for that.

  3. LuLi Says:

    J – Thanks for the recipe! We had no idea how to make punch, we were just winging it, so I definitely welcome something tried and tested. Sounds like a good plan, if I had of gotten to go out I may have found that companion!

    TDW – I was pretty shattered, it feels like I never get to dance anymore. Goddamn couples. What did you end up doing this weekend? Tell me you had more fun than me!

  4. This Devil's Workday Says:

    I probably had one of the best weekends I’ve had in a long time. I think I slept a total of 5 hours over Friday and Saturday night but it was worth it. It was a boys weekend away and the amount of funny stories and funny things that happened is just ridiculous. I reckon I have some of the most entertaining and fun mates possible.

    That is in NO relation to my last post, lol.

  5. LuLi Says:

    Ohhh, awesome. I’m glad some fun was had at least in the world last weekend. Boys weekends are always the craziest fun-fests.. I’m always trying to sneak my way onto one without the girls getting pissed off, but so far to no avail.

  6. This Devil's Workday Says:

    One of the guys managed to get his girlfriends there. In fact, the only reason it ended up being a boys weekend is because one of the guys told his girlfriend it was going to be like that so she wouldn’t come (they have a healthy relationship). We all wanted the girls to come (we don’t act any differently when they’re around, they’re “the boys” too) so we kept giving him crap about it all weekend.

    We should have another chat on msn sometime.

  7. LuLi Says:

    Definitely, email me or let me know when you’re going online and I’ll sign in.

  8. j... Says:

    it’s not really punch… it’s a transformation of something very popular among the pillettes/hiltonettes, at least a few years ago…

    trust me, if u like sweet and don’t mind too much about peach, u’ll be able to drink litres of that shit without noticing.

    or… turning a gentle booze into… whatever 😛

  9. LuLi Says:

    Oh really? I love anything that goes down easy! Thanks, J.

  10. This Devil's Workday Says:

    I invented my own cocktail at schoolies. I don’t remember what it was called. I was trying to impress some chick and I let her name it. I obviously wasn’t paying attention.

    It’s basically Agrum (you know that stuff from Schweppes) with tequila and southern comfort (or maybe vodka) with a touch of lime juice.

    Damn good, but damn potent.

  11. LuLi Says:

    Ohhh, yeah I know that agrum stuff. Its one of those different country drinks isn’t it? I’m sure I’ve tried it, but I can’t remember the taste. Your drink sounds good though, what you gonna name it?

  12. This Devil's Workday Says:

    How about I just call it “This Devil’s Workday”? lol. Probably better than whatever crap it was called before. Sunset something… it was named after the street we were staying on.

  13. LuLi Says:

    Sunset something?! That is crap. You can just tell a girl named it, don’t leave the important jobs to chicks, TDW! Its called a man’s world for a reason! Hehe..

  14. Bron Says:

    I love anything that goes down easy!

    Oh LuLi! You saucy minx!

  15. LuLi Says:

    That double-entendre was for you, Bron. 😉

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