Google All Over Me!

My mother plans out Sunday dinners so that they’re ready just before Sixty Minutes starts, and she can watch while she eats. I like to sit at the table for my dinner so I have a perfect view unintentionally (thats my story and I’m sticking to it! Its my mum who watches!). Last night there was an ‘expose’ on the thriving internet porn business.

This segment went for about 20 minutes, while they harped on and on about how profitable and mainstream porn was these days, and how terrible it was that sex sells. All the while including shots of girls dancing around in their underwear, stripping, sliding around poles wearing as little as possible. Did the sex ‘sell’ itself for your ratings Sixty Minutes? I honestly didn’t need to see a 19 year old girl ‘wink’ at me (as Roy and HG would put it) during my evening meal.

And its little back and forths like this that really got my blood flowing:

KIKI VIDIS: It makes me feel good about myself, because I never used to be this confident at all, I was always just so put down by boys especially.

LIAM BARTLETT: And you’d hope to make a lot of money out of it?

KIKI VIDIS: Oh it’s not really money that I’m after. It’s more that I just like men kind of ‘googling’ over me. Stick it in the little USB slot…

LIAM BARTLETT: And they can Google all over Kiki within minutes.

Yes indeed, wouldn’t I just love to google all over Kiki. Fucking revolting. Maybe I just read between the lines too much, but that made me choke on my chicken in disgust. The closest they came to even making a statement in between footage of topless chicks and porno intros (you know, the cheesy scene setting before the clothes come off) was interviewing a school girl who thought that it made men act less intimately and more like they were in a porno during sex.

Their ‘expert’ was a psychologist and sex writer by the name of Holly Hill who divulged that her and her partner would be ‘having a good time’ that night, and that he swooned her on their first date with a candle light dinner and some porn on the tv. Oh, and that she’s basically an enabler who encourages her man with his extensive porn collection, but I guess thats just me reading between the lines again. Here’s a nice quote from her:

HOLLY HILL: Men are creatures of their chemicals and when we expect them to cross their legs for the entire duration of their relationships and not watch things like pornography. It’s extraordinarily naive and goes completely against their natural hard-wiring.

Poor men and their chemicals! They’re just slaves to their own sexual bodies, how can we expect them to control themselves when faced with something of an arousing nature? How dare we expect they just ‘cross their legs’ and wait until we are ready for sexual intimacy? With women walking around in their short skirts all the time, practically teasing them! One should never be as stupid as to think they can actually choose whether or not to be aroused, or that they are in any way responsible for these feelings that we women are so obviously pushing upon them. I mean, why else does rape happen if not provoked by the woman herself? If anything, more porno would mean less rape right? Because sex is so readily available, and not because porn is detrimental to respect for women or anything.

After googling ‘Holly Hill’ I found out that it was a pseudonym for a book she wrote, where she advertised in the paper for a sugar daddy to be their ‘sugababe’. So they pay her for sex with gifts. What an awesome premise for a book, being a whore and then writing about it! Thats not cliched at all! Check out some of the hilarious commenters who called her on her bullshit here. I tried to find her real name, but alas, she is a crafty one.

I kept waiting for the professional case worker or anyone at all who would have a negative viewpoint to discuss, but I guess they just ran out of time, right? The perpetuating of negative attitudes towards women and sexual exploitation isn’t very important anyway. I’m kind of glad I got to see that the porn actress makes a lot of money and her mum is proud that at the age of 19 she just completed 32 hardcore movies in only two months. Like, its not even a bad thing to reduce yourself to just a vessel for a man to google all over. Plus think of the boost to my obviously fucked up self esteem! And once I get too old for regular porn I can just mosey on over to ‘mature’ and make some retirement funds. Life is good. Now if only I could get my myspace friends count to over 9000!

KIKI VIDIS: I know it sounds weird. but having all those people searching me and wanting to be my friends and wanting to see more of me, it’s, it’s … not only just the ego boost, it makes me feel wanted, so…

LIAM BARTLETT: It makes you feel good to be part of that scene? To be a celebrity?

KIKI VIDIS: I’m, gosh, I’m not that yet. If I had more than 5,000 friends on MySpace then yeah, I might think so, but I don’t.

Hi, I have self validation issues that drive me to base my worth on how many men want to see my tits. Porn going mainstream has in no way affected this. In fact, I like to think I’ve ‘taken’ my power back via degrading myself on film. But its all just part of this crazy ‘sexual revolution’. Whats your deal?


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30 Responses to “Google All Over Me!”

  1. raydixon Says:

    While watching this segment/reading this post I learned:

    That I must find Kiki’s vids.

    Seriously though LuLi, I don’t find anything sexy about watching pornos made for mass consumption.

    But one to one, well … that’s different!

  2. This Devil's Workday Says:

    That’s your second poll I can’t find a suitable answer for. You need to remember to have options that can oppose your opinion, the ones there that do are clearly sarcasm.

    I didn’t watch 60 minutes, but the way you described it reminded me of those Pink videos where she bags all the other popstars for tarting about in their clips, whilst she is making a mockery of it, in effect, tarting about almost naked as well.

    When you said you almost “choked on your chicken”, was this a subliminal joke given the topic of conversation?

    When women say men have no control over their sexual desires they give power to guys who cheat. One of my friends cheated on the weekend. It sickened me. No one deserves to be in a relationship if they’re a cheater. I’m a guy, and I’ve been as drunk as one can possibly can get, and at no point during the stages of drunkness do you ever not understand the meaning of cheating. Drunkness is never an excuse, and guys have much more control over their sex drive than they’d have you believe – it’s a sham for power that a lot of women seem to be buying into.

    What’s scarier I think is the large number of home video porn guys are making on their mobile phones, often without the girls knowledge, so they can pass it around to their friends or post on the internet. Watch the news for this one becoming some sort of “epidemic” in the near future. It happens, ALOT.

    I’v got more to say about the porn industry in general, but I’ve taken up enough space.

  3. Kezza Says:

    Oh for the love of god, you weren’t watching 60 minutes in teh hope of finding fair, rational or unbiased journalism were you?

    This is why I have pretty much given up on mainstream media, I did manage to find an answer that suits in the poll though, so I voted!

  4. LuLi Says:

    Ray – The mass consumption ones are definitely not cool!

    TDW – So this is how you repay the person who taught you to poll? By humiliating her poll in front of her potential votes?! There isn’t a sad face sad enough to display the sadness of my sad face. 😦 That will have to do.

    Seriously though, what answer would you have liked to see? I took a stab just then and created one specially for you. (I think you have to press view results to see it though, how annoying!)

    Cheating is disgusting, and one of the most horrible things you can do to a person.. I don’t think theres any excuse, least of all that they seduced you with their womanly wiles. You’re right, it is a sham. Home porn is horrible, those poor girls! You could never recover from that humiliation.

    Kezza – No, but someone has to tell them they’re wrong! Thanks for voting.

  5. This Devil's Workday Says:

    I think there’s a crying face? Hey I warned you I could be difficult. Did you really think our constant agreement on almost every single issue was going to last? lol. Not that I disagree on this one… I just don’t think porn is all that big a deal – for the most part. It’s complicated, and my view on it is complicated (why I tried to avoid stating it).

    The reason I think that though, has more to do with religion than feminism.

  6. LuLi Says:

    But TDW, how can it be not that big of a deal? Porn has saturated mainstream culture and appears nearly everywhere, if not in its actual form than in representation through advertising and such. You can’t click through the internet twice without seeing some. And we are always saying that the media affects the attitudes of those who watch it, thats why people can be so hateful to Muslims and vote for the Liberal party, so how can the image of men degrading women not affect those who watch it?

    Porn is almost always violent towards women, physically or verbally. When I see a clip of a man slapping the women, spitting on them, choking them, calling them names, violently abusing their bodies while the woman grimaces and pretends to like it I feel sick to my stomach. I’m not the only woman who feels this way, there are many women who find this depiction of violence against us to bring them to tears, least of all rape victims who relive the trauma of this abuse. Rape is all about power, and when I see porn, most of the time I see rape.

    Porn movies are an attack on women in almost every sense. When you see the woman bound, gagged, bruised, slapped, sworn at while she happily accepts this abuse it is the norm. Thats what most films are showing. It is the equivalent to writing ‘White Power’ in graffiti on a wall, except that porn is accepted as being fine in society.

    Whether that particular woman in the porn did or did not consent to the violence or degradation does not make her a representation of the entire female population. Why would a woman want to be abused like that? In the average porn film there are 11 aggressive acts towards women in each scene. I’ll leave it at that but yeah, I just think its horrific.

  7. This Devil's Workday Says:

    OK, but by my view being complicated, I say that because I haven’t come to a real conclusion yet. Don’t want to be a hyprocrite after all.

    In terms of violence, I’ve never once seen any violence in porn personally – I’m pretty sure its illegal (like it matters on the net). It probably does exist. THAT is a big deal, I don’t condone that whatsoever (apart from spit being used as lube which is usually done by both parties). Bound, gagged, bruised, slapped and sworn at? Again I’ve never seen that. But I agree, it’s not on.

    In terms of that kind of porn where there is a degredation, then yeah, I’m against that. But when it’s just people having sex, I don’t see the problem. You’ll probably say that that’s uncommon, but I dunno. I must be watching the wrong kind of porn.

  8. LuLi Says:

    Unfortunately violence in porn is the norm and is definitely not illegal and is a big part of the 12 billion made from porn each year. There was a study done where 50 films were picked randomly out of the top 375 that

    “counted over 3,000 acts of verbal and physical aggression in these 50 films, which averaged about 11 acts of aggression per scene. And 95% of the time, the recipient of the aggression (who was female 94% of the time) responded with neutrality or pleasure. They also searched for/analyzed *positive* behaviors in these 50 films, and found that positive behaviors were only present in 9.9% of scenes. There were about 2 caresses, 2 or 3 kisses, and about 5 compliments from a man to a woman. That is, they found that the most popular pornography films were overwhelmingly full of male aggression against women, and that positive behaviors from men were very, very rare.”

    That study was done last year by Robert Wosnitzer, Ana Bridges, and Michelle Chang and you can see it on google video if you want, here:

  9. This Devil's Workday Says:

    Fuck. Now I’ve got even more to think about.

  10. Marty Says:

    On an individual level I feel bad for ‘Kiki Vidis’, the way she doesn’t feel accepted or wanted and feels that this will fill the hole (no pun intended I suppose, oh well maybe it was).

    On a collective level it’s shit that women are second-class citizens, and I understand you being so pissed about how all of this cheap tittilation just makes the situation worse for all of you.

    Surely for your anger levels 60 Mins should be avoided at this point, but then if your Mum wants it on during dinners then there’s not much you can do. At least it gives you something to talk about.

  11. LuLi Says:

    TDW – You should really watch that vid, its very interesting and it goes for an hour but its not boring at all. The research is break through and it just really explains that whole idea behind the abuse not being the norm and why its not accurate.

    Marty – I feel bad for Kiki too, she has obviously no idea that she’s just a product of these terrible ideologies that society has pushed into her head. Its very sad to see such a young girl willing to take part in it all.

    I usually don’t mind to watch it with her because I can laugh about it and give my opinion to her on how wrong they are, but sometimes it does anger me a bit too much and I could probably benefit from ignoring such crappy reporting.

  12. This Devil's Workday Says:

    No I don’t mean “now I’ve got more to think about” as in I can’t be bothered watching the vid (I will tomorrow, just not tonight). I mean “now I’ve got more to think about” as in I can’t think of any logical argument – you’re changing my mind on porn. I guess it was just one of those things I kind of let over my head. As in, all this blog does to me is turn me into a do-gooder 😛

  13. This Devil's Workday Says:

    Not your blog. This blogging thing in general.

  14. This Devil's Workday Says:

    And that smiley face was meant to have a tongue, not a stupid shit-eating grin. I’ll stop flooding now.

  15. LuLi Says:

    Nah, I knew what you meant its cool. I didn’t mean you had to watch it, I was just recommending it if you wanted more info for when you do your own research (if you do, not telling you to either lol).

    I also didn’t really let myself think about porn too much but it always sat uneasy with me. It wasn’t until doing sex and gender in uni that my eyes were opened to all this feminist related stuff. Thanks for being open to my opinion 🙂

  16. This Devil's Workday Says:

    See, I’m not overly opinionated (tell that to my friends). I am actually willing to have my opinion changed if I can be convinced of it! Hehe. I honestly will watch the video tonight, I don’t watch TV, I’ve only spent an hour and a half on exam study in the last four days and I need to clear my mind of something in particular, so it should be a good watch, lol. I’ll let you know how it goes.

  17. LuLi Says:

    You are usually pretty flexible with your views if given enough evidence, I’ve noticed! Thats a great trait to have. I think sometimes I can be overly stubborn with mine. Hope you enjoy that vid.

  18. This Devil's Workday Says:

    OK I watched it.

    Yeah, I’m pretty startled by the percentage of violence. I didn’t know it was quite that bad, as I said, anything I’ve ever seen has had pulling hair at the worst, and I can never stand that, or the shit-talking (“bitch” etc.). I’m not lying when I say I’ve always hated that aspect to porn and have wondered why porn is never very loving (there are some other types of porn out there that are).

    My only problem with their research was that they said something about porn “educating” people about sex, therefore it should be a somewhat accurate representation of society. I really don’t think that’s the purpose of porn, but it would be naive of me to think that people don’t watch porn for educational purposes.

    My other problem was that they had a problem with the percentage of sex acts that favour the male as opposed to favouring the female, when after all, it is enterainment AIMED at a male target audience, so I don’t see that that is very surprising.

    If porn didn’t have the agggressiveness, and was merely two people “making love”, would you have a problem with it then? Then the exploitation would have to be seen as equal amongst both sexes, that is, if you were to still see it as an exploitation.

  19. LuLi Says:

    I think a lot of people do use porn as education, because its much less awkward to watch a tape than to ask someone questions about it. I myself have heard men say to each other ‘Send her home with a porn vid to teach her how to give head’. Its definitely not the purpose of porn, but aside from pop culture (which is at the moment still degrading women), where are people getting their new ideas and new sex ‘normalities’? If one in four people watch porn regularly (as 60mins claim) then its probably safe to say that their ideas/attitudes are coming from there.

    Also in terms of education from porn I don’t have any figures to give you (so I’m not claiming to be right just musing), but I think that theres education through the attitudes in porn, in that its fine to be degrading towards women, and its fine for women to accept this.

    As a male, and being the target audience, it might seem fair that the girl gets less attention, but what kind of message is it teaching you in relation to treating women (in bed or out of)? And why do you think its fair that men should be favoured?

    Two people having sex as ‘making love’ is different. If they are doing it in ways that positively reinforce good behaviours and attitudes then its hardly much worse than a good sex scene in a book or movie. Teaching people that sex can be enjoyed as an act of intimacy and something positive isn’t exploitation, unless its in the wrong context, and society is kind of turning even that into the wrong context. I’m not really sure what kind of porn I’d find acceptable, but its not the porn that is being watched now.

  20. Andy Says:

    This is an argument that rages in my house every now and again.

    Personally, I have no issue with porn as a concept, but I do agree that there seems to be a trend towards degrading the female, which is somewhat disconcerting. But porn doesn’t ALWAYS follow this rule, and to my mind is perfectly acceptable for the enjoyment of adults.

    Living with a dedicated feminist, I am frequently reminded that I am in fact a disgusting sexist pig for having such an opinion. But I’ve learned to live with that fact.

  21. Andy Says:

    Oh, by the way- there’s something waiting for you over at my blog…

  22. LuLi Says:

    Lol, well as long as you’ve learned to live with it. It is a pretty frustrating argument, especially because the aggression is less visible to men who watch because its sexualised, but women can’t really look at it without being horrified (I know I can’t). Your wife sounds like such a gem.

  23. This Devil's Workday Says:

    I thought you would’ve surely added me on Facebook now. I’ve only had it for two weeks, I need more friends!

  24. LuLi Says:

    Lol, do you want me to find you? Give me some clues to search for!

  25. WendySkeleton Says:

    TDW needs more friends. Aww. 😦

    But yes, LuLi, I really hate how people buy into that really stupid myth that men can’t control themselves when they’re aroused, like they turn into savage animals or something.

    On top of that sexist stereotype, it fuels the whole “She asked for it” bullshit when a woman gets raped or sexually harassed.

  26. This Devil's Workday Says:

    You know my real e-mail address. Surely that is enough?

  27. LuLi Says:

    Oh my! I completely forgot about that.. I coulda found you years ago! Ok, I’m officially adding you mofo.

  28. LuLi Says:

    Also Wendy, you’re completely right, it does give validation to the victim blaming of rape. I seriously hate porn, I never realised till after this whole debate.

  29. This Devil's Workday Says:

    Don’t forget to keep the blog thing on the downlow. There are many many spies.

  30. LuLi Says:

    Yeah, you too! I don’t want anyone suspecting.. I’ll die if they read this. My story is I met you at uni!

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