Archive for November, 2008

When Melbourne Punches You In The Face

November 30, 2008

Is it just me, or is it getting a whole lot more violent around here lately? I could just be living on the wrong side of the tracks, but my violent encounters seem to have gone up three fold, resulting in at least one incident every weekend. Thats pretty dangerous. I’ve started going home early to avoid trouble. And I can’t believe I ever used to walk home alone from my local at 3am, what the fuck? When I’m drunk I think I’m invincible or some shit. There’s no way I could do that now.

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Last weekend I had a quiet Saturday night. We decided to pretend we were out to everyone who called, and just stay at home and watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy. 297hrs in, when it was just about to get good on the last one (the beacons had just been lit to call to the aid of Rohan, and Arwen had just found out there was a child in her future) we get a phone call. Hu’s mother had been punched in the face by some rogues, and so Hu’s brother was lighting the beacon and calling for Hu’s aid in the fight.

The whole story turned out that his sister was defending a gay guy, she got bashed and so did he, then her brother came and bashed everyone, then his mum came to pick them up and a guy jumped on the hood of her car, punched through the windscreen and then got off and punched the mum through her open side window. Then he realised she was a mum and ran off, but not before Hu’s brother could kick the shit out of him to the point where he was ‘bleeding from everywhere’.

That sickens me, and makes me think ghetto, ghetto, ghetto! And not in the good way, in the Jerry Springer way. Not only for the disgusting acts of violence against the gay guy, Hu’s sister and his mum, but of how him and his brother ran through it afterwards, bashing and savagely hurting even more people. What exactly does that solve? I understand you know, people are going to be angry, and in the heat of the moment its all about punishing those who hurt you, but if you cared about someone wouldn’t that time be better spent consoling them instead of pursuing their attackers?

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Its like we don’t know how to solve conflicts without turning to violence anymore. I went to the pub last night and was planning to have a good one, but once my friend lost his wallet and started punching walls and breaking glasses from anger, I was like ‘fuck you kids, I’m out.’ I’m not gonna stick around while people act aggressively towards others by towering over them and smashing glasses. You might be looking for a fight, but I’m not, and the fact that you’re doing that shit pisses me off because A. you’re putting me in danger and B. the tough ‘I punch walls’ act is an unattractive quality in a friend. Its just too violent and I’m not going to hang around someone who takes out their issues by attacking things. Like what if you were angry at me? Would you punch a wall I was standing near in frustration? Would you grab me and shake me, wishing you could hit me? I can tolerate anger, but theres a difference between anger and being physically and violently intimidating.

It all sounds worse on paper, but how many of us can relate and say they’ve been in a similar situation, just as bloodthirsty? I bet you can all think of at least one or two incidents of fights around you, or brutal violence against someone. Maybe you’ve even been involved. I’ve been punched by a guy before, so has my sister, so has Hu’s sister, Hu’s mum, Hu and most of my mates. Is it just a matter of time before Melbourne punches everybody in the face? What does this kind of behaviour lead to emotionally and socially?

I know in my case and my sisters that it was unprovoked and unchallenged, in times when we were alone for whatever reason and came across the wrong guy without anyone to protect us. And its not so much the physical hit that hurts you, its the feeling of being alone with no-one to save you. Something my sister said after it happened to her really struck me, “There was a point where he had me against the wall and I opened my mouth to scream for help, but I realised there was nobody to scream to.” Its that feeling of helplessness, when you realise you are just a girl and people can hurt you without you being able to do anything about it. It makes you feel so vulnerable and scared, and never want to leave the house again. I wish I could have been there for her, but I wasn’t in the area.

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What are we doing to ourselves? I can’t understand how people can be so savage to each other, and want to punch people’s faces in and break their bones. And it all seems to be accepted, like if you go out and punch someone its just another night out, nothing out of the ordinary. The worst part is, men feel like they have to do it, and they have to reciprocate in order to be ‘manly’ or to have worth. You have to protect your flock from the wolves. There are even girl fighters out there now, looking for trouble, daring you to bump into them accidently or say the wrong thing. And these aren’t just the normal fiesty, mouthy club girls like you find all over Melbourne, these are seasoned profesh girl fighters, who have been bashing people all through their teen years and are now well into their twenties and thirties. They have missing teeth and click their jaws like junkies. That scares the shit out of me.

Has Melbourne become more violent?

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Luli Is So Sad

November 25, 2008

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My laptop is broken. Its all my fault really, I got sick of it being so slow so I flipped it over and pulled out the battery in a huff, as a kind of super fast reset without having to wait for windows to shut down. Every time I’ve tried to turn it on since, it just says ‘fan fail’ and turns off again. So I’ve temporarily (I hope its temporarily anyway!) lost all my music, articles, assignments, anime and all the freakin pictures I’ve been saving for years that only get to shine through these posts. I can’t afford to fix it till I start work, which is two weeks I think, so that means my beloved blogging beauties, I can only sporadically update and comment for a couple of weeks. And that will be when I’m either at my dads place stealing their internet (like right now), when I’ve stolen my brothers desktop off him for a few mins or when I risk sacrificing my eyesight to the dimly lit broken screen of my sisters lappy. I’ve been doing that this week, but seriously my eyes are bugging out, I’m gonna be blind soon if I keep it up.

So apparently, I have to learn to live how the rest of the world does, with offline hobbies or something? Who the hell would want to live in reality? I’ve been walking around the house, opening books, reading a few pages then closing them, turning on the tv then turning it off again, cleaning (WTF?!) and organising my room and sitting in the backyard for long periods of time looking up to the sky and crying over my lappy. I’m not even joking, I really did cry, you don’t know what that thing means to me. I’m lost in the real world. I’ve decided to learn how to read runes, but thats gonna take me like 2 days, so if anyone has any idea what I can do to occupy my time with please comment, suggestions very welcome.

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I’ve been thinking I might handmake christmas cards for my mum to send off, I did it last year but it was a joint effort with India. Its a lot of work but what else do I have to do, right? My mum is scared of the mess, but its India who took over the bench not me. Plus for a non religious mofo, I really like christmas, I get into the spirit, everyones all happy and theres decorations and good will and sappy movies and candy canes and christmas lights.. Goddamnit I’m delirious aren’t I? See what happens when I have no net! How am I supposed to know what the celebrities are doing or catch up with The Hills? How will I know when Israel cuts off the water in Gaza again, or kills a family by bulldozing their house? How am I gonna keep up with all of you kids and your goings on and happenings? I don’t have two weeks of internet time spare, I have to keep on top of things. I can’t stand that I’m missing everything.

Anyway, my sis Min thinks it was a sign, like I was getting too addicted. Man, I hate it when she’s right. Okay well, I better be off, take my sad kitten face back to the ‘real world’. Why meeee, whyyyyy? *Out*

Crazier Solo

November 20, 2008

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I know I seem like a crazy drunken girl, look its not a wrong perception, but I think if you could see the craziness of my mates then you’d probably understand where I get it from. I’m more of an awkward, foot in the mouth, falling over and lets be honest, flirty drunk. I always say the wrong thing, make up stories to randoms and give away the secrets. Its like I just don’t know where to draw the line. Last month I was at my local there was a punch on outside and the bouncer asked me what it was about, so I told him I had 3 grand of drug money stolen from my purse and that my boys were just getting it back for me. Now every time I go in there all the security guards watch my every move and whisper to each other as I walk past.

My friend Bee is 26 and is dating a 20 year old, and she’s always trying to set me up with his friends. The other day she’s like “What about him? He’s cute and nice.” And I groaned and yelled “Bee, I can’t date a 20 year old, they’re way too immature! I need someone on my level!” And then she looked at me all sad and I clicked and quickly go “Coz you know the last time I got with someone younger it was a mess..” But the damage had pretty much been done. And then the one time in my life I made a mum joke, this guys mother turned out to be dead, so I spent like half an hour apologising to him. That’s happened to everyone though, right? I mean chances are you’ll strike out at least once with the mother insults. Its all just probability.

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Anyway in comparison to my friends, I’m not so bad. Sure I’m loud and say weird stuff, but they’re much wacker. The other night in Hawthorn, my sisters bf Hu was wasted and decided he was batman or some shit, and started climbing right up the side of some building. He got to the second floor and looked in a window, and got a fright from someone looking back out at him and fell backwards onto the footpath. People were stepping around him and a bus full of night club kids stopped to stare at him, so he got up, found the Corona bottle he’d left on the ground, smashed it onto the bus and ran away into the night. None of us were around him so its not like he was trying to entertain us, he’s just retarded.

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Also that night, my sis Min, who is just hilarious in general, sat down with a yuppie couple in this rich, high end cigar bar we’d gate crashed with our huge crew. So she starts asking them how their night was, what they’d been up to, so forth. The woman was trying to snob her so that she could be romantic with her man but Min just kept talking in her wasted state. Finally the lady got fed up and said “Listen, I don’t want to talk to you, please leave us alone.” Then Min gets offended and political like “Oh, well I’m sorry but you’re in a public bar, which means you have to interact with the riff raff, I don’t care how rich you are, you can’t just sit somewhere and expect not to talk to me! I’ll talk to whoever I want, I’m not too good for people! Its you rich Liberal voters who ruin society! If you don’t want to talk to poor people then take your Versace wearing ass back to the chateau!” So they left.

At Hu’s 21st, my older brother Jamel rocked up blind and went up to Hu’s African side of the family and started kissing all of their hands and asking them if they had any crack, and when they said no, if they wanted any. He spent a good half an hour spinning shit to them, but later on in the night he realised what he’d said and started getting all paranoid. He comes up to me and goes “Luli, someone told them where I live, I think they want to kill me, look at them, they’re looking at me.” So I look and they were, but they were smiling. I’m like “Don’t worry man, it will be cool.” And he’s like “No Lu! You don’t understand! I was saying ‘If you black, you got the crack!’ They want to kill me!” Later on I found him, my little brothers mate and another guy all passed out under the clothesline in a pile, sprawled against each other. I tried to carry him out to his car but he woke up and freaked out. My last image of him from that night is of him ripping his shirt off, dodging the open car door and running down the street shrieking, his wife chasing him into the darkness.

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My girl Tray is known for losing everything she owns when she goes out. We have to pin her house key to her like a grandma when we go to festivals. So one night she comes home and can’t find her key, and has to wait like 5 hours for her flatmate to get home. First she took her shoes off and went for a walk around the block, but her feet started to get really sore. By now it was daylight. She spotted some berries that had fallen to the ground in someones garden, so she started squishing her feet in them to feel better. Then she stole their mail and the rest of the streets mail to read because she was so bored. Finally all this adventuring wore her out, so she curled up against her door using her welcome mat as a blanket. But she was still cold, so she emptied her handbag out and put her berry stained feet in it to warm them. Her flatmate found her there an hour later, sound asleep with her bag contents and mail strewn around her. I gotta hand it to her, thats urban resourcefulness in its finest form.

The best part is that this is all shit they did solo. That’s just how wack they are by themselves. But the only way to truly get an idea is to hang out with us for a night. You may not remember much the next day, but that means it was awesome, right?

No Clean Feed – Protests

November 18, 2008

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Well my friends I’ve finally come across the details of some upcoming protests against the internet filter! Thank god because I was worried that the mainstream public didn’t really care about it, and thats never a good sign for change. Educate, agitate, organise – thats the way to get things done!

So if you disagree that you should be forced to have mandatory filtering of your internet, on both legal and illegal materials defined by no clear reasoning or organisation, of questionable accuracy, that slows your internet on average by 30% and is presumed to block 1 in 100 sites accidently (that could be your own blog!) then the way to speak up about it is to visit No Clean Feed or to attend one of these protests:

Melbourne – 13th Dec, 1pm-5pm, State Library

Sydney – 13th Dec, 11am-4pm, Town Hall

Brisbane – 13th Dec, 11am-3pm, Brisbane Square

Hobart – 13th Dec, 11am-1.30pm, Parliament Lawns

Adelaide – 13th Dec, 12pm-4pm, Parliament

Darwin and Perth have not been organised yet. Its a Saturday so you don’t have to worry about getting time off work, and if you live in Melbourne like me and rock up and its looking kinda feeble, you can always chant a couple of lines then skip across the road to Melbourne Central for some shopping love. And you will be right near one of the last remaining Starbucks shops in Vic so you can get a frappe! I’ve been craving one for months.

Anyway this is all about anti-censorship and free speech. I hope that just because I’ve discussed things like porn, strip clubs, drugs and disliking Kevin Rudd my page won’t be blocked (plus you might not have noticed this, but I sometimes say the f word!), but seeing as they are blocking content unsuitable for children the chances for staying open for business are slim. Stephen Conroy has actually been blasted in Parliament for being misleading with his campaign, in particular for saying that there were similar filters in the US, the UK and Canada, which is a complete fabrication, so thats a bit of good news. Someone is checking facts at least.

Its about time they got to see exactly what they’re up against. The internet is serious business.

Streets On Fire

November 14, 2008

“The stars are aligned and the path is colliding

The plan is arriving and she’s out there smiling

The fear is upon us, the skies tried to warn us

Your parents are goners, no children to mourn us

It’s driving me crazy, this war is my lady

The bombs are our babies and God is amazing

The tick of the timer, the slip of the rhyme

Of the pimp and the rise of your fall’s

Where you’ll find her..”

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There’s one image in my mind that I absolutely love. It’s a scene and a life that I don’t know but want to, that I can feel but haven’t really experienced. Anything that resembles it always appeals to me and I can’t even explain it properly. It’s one of those things that if you get it, you get it, and if you don’t, well there’s no way to describe it to you. I don’t even know how I came across it, but I think if I had to choose a place to describe the workings of my mind and what it looked like, that would be it.

This song comes pretty close to depicting it. It’s by Lupe Fiasco and was written about the AIDS virus, but told through the story of the Streets, a female essence that controls all life in the city. She’s the hustlers and the drugs, she gives you the luck and she takes it from you, she brings the warm breeze across your skin or the rain on your back, she lets you die or live, and she chooses your fate.

When you listen to that, you might be able to see what I see. It’s Tokyo, in the rain. Its summertime, so it’s hot. Neon lights are flashing at me and surrounding me. It’s an urban setting, with graffiti on the walls that makes it street and gives it that feeling of rebellion, but there is still a sense of something ethereal and natural, something bigger than the city and everything in it. It makes the city pulse, it makes it alive. It makes love exist and the meaning go beyond the simplicity of live to buy, buy to live, where the rich should control it all. But they can’t because life belongs to the Streets.

It’s a love story as well, behind the words. It’s in the music. Its two people searching for each other, and when they finally connect in the city it all comes to a crescendo, and the battle becomes their fight together against it all. It could be Hong Kong or Seoul, under siege, troops scouring the city for the enemies, fires burning from barrels, and two people trying to escape and save each other. They’re part of the rebellion, or maybe just civillians, but with the population all but evacuated, the city belongs to them. And the Streets are on their side. But whether they survive or not is beyond them, it’s up to her.

“Believe some say the neon signs

Might allow speakers repeating

And everything is fine

A subtle silence

Could demolish the troubled conscious

Of a compass with no knowledge

And every freedom denied..”

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There’s something in the song that calms me, its like despite the rush of the city and the frantic struggle to make it, there’s something around us always that’s soothing and has been here long before we have, and will be here long after we’re gone. You can see it in the rainbow shining from the oil in a puddle on the tar, or in the reflection of the lights on the night sky. We might not make it, but we’re in it, so all we can do is live.

I don’t know if you can see it, or if you’ve seen it before in other things, other songs. I see it in anime, in warm rainy nights, in neon cities, in Lupe Fiasco’s album The Cool, in graffiti, in the style of the Melbourne fashion kids, in hot weather, in gyaru girls, in anything that glows in the dark, in clouds that look like they could hide angels.. It’s just a feeling I get. It’s my favourite feeling. I once tried to describe it in a piece called The Tokyo Slum, but I failed. Maybe you understood it, or maybe you didn’t. Anyway, that’s my mind. I live there. Let me know if you can see it too.

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“The sadness, the madness, the bad shit, the lavish

The fastness to clashes, the ashes to ashes

Everything intertwined

My femme fatale my darling fraudulent angel

Once caught her changing her batteries in her halo

Receipt for her wings and everything that she paid for

And the address to the factory where they made those

The scientist says she’s all inside my mind

The little boy said “What happened to all the girls?”

The preacher man says she gonna kill off the souls

The dope boy said it’s the whole wide world..”

Kinda Annoyed & Bored

November 12, 2008

A few things I’m outraged by this week:

  • The internet filter is looking good to go in Australia, despite international liberal lobbies outraged at the censorship and companies like ebay and time warner getting behind the cause. Apparently we will have some people volunteer for testing by Dec 24th and it may come into place as soon as early 2009. I’m seriously wishing there was some kind of protest organised where we could all show our combined voices against it. There are only a few things I love in this world and one of them is the internet. I’ll fight to the death for my lover.

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  • I got an email from the Your Rights At Work group which initially began as a protest group against WorkChoices. The latest thing is that the federal government is trying to drop all funding for maternity/paternity leave in 2009. This is mighty fucked up on all counts. “Opinion polls, talk back radio and letters to editor clearly show time after time that Australians support government-funded paid maternity leave. The Government’s own experts, the Productivity Commission, has said that government-funded paid maternity leave is good for the economy, good for employers and good for families. And now there’s a perfect opportunity for the Australian Government to deliver on this important right at work.” You can sign the petition against it here if you wish: http://www.rightsatwork.com.au/paidmaternityleave and if you support unpaid maternity leave, you can get the hell off my site. Cheers.
  • Premier Brumby has decided that the internal government research that has found an increase in problem gambling and that half of all at-risk gamblers were visiting gaming venues at least once a week, up 28% since 2006, is just a load of poppycock and nothing needs to change. Apparently the overwhelming revenue that the government gets from these problem gamblers is just too good to pass up, despite the masses of reports that say something must be done. Oh well.

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  • A study has been done on underage drinkers, finding them to contribute $107 million in tax revenue from the drinks to the government. Despite this, they go on to say that an alcopop tax will not help in any way. “But despite the findings, the study did not endorse the Government’s 70% increase in the taxes on alcopops introduced this year, saying that while it was right to focus on teenage consumption patterns, it did not extend to all types of alcohol and many would simply substitute hard spirits.” I’ve been saying this for ages, stop targeting my favourite drinks! I look like a hobo mixing vodka and cranberry at parties!
  • And lastly, I found a redback spider on a chair in the car hole (Garage? Ooh la di da, Mr Frenchman! This is the ghetto!), two massive huntsmans (huntsmen?) on the window of the back door and a family of wolf spiders near the front door step. This is just from my careful spider inspecting eyes, that watch for spider danger at all times. And anyway, just before I felt a little sting, looked down at my stomach and there was a little red mark there. I’m thinking it was the redback. If you don’t hear from me in a while, then you’ll know I was right. I’m secretly glad the sore is too small to be a wolf spider, because those bastards can fuck you up. They are the one spider I’m frightened to death of, and they just have to freaking live in my garden. I’ve also had the pleasure of two of them on my skin, at least 8 of them in my room and getting to kill one special one with numerous babies that fled from its back. Why life, why???

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I’m officially on my holidays from uni and after my second day, could not be more bored with life. I even drank on a Monday night and nothing. Today after moping around the house and experimenting with mi goreng noodles, tomatoes and eggs, I sat in the backyard and began reading a huge collection of Orwell books in an attempt to un-bore myself. Since when have I given a shit about doing stuff? I’m the laziest, most sloth-like, un-motivated fiend I know, suddenly I’m bored with nothing? Struggling.

So, thats my story. What’s pissed you off this week?

Fixed Up Faces

November 7, 2008

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I’m watching Famous Faces. Its the first time I’ve seen it but I’m pretty sure after only ten minutes I’ve worked out the premise. They get people who want plastic surgery to look like their favourite celebrity and follow their journey through their transformations. MTV claims that the contestants(?) already want it and they just document the whole thing.

I’m pretty shocked by this girl who wants to look like Carmen Electra. She is absolutely beautiful but she’s getting a nose job, breast implants, lip injections and she has the tiniest love handles so the doctor agreed to get a tiny bit of fat out of her sides with liposuction. I can’t believe this chick that is already so hot, is absolutely fucked with her body image and hates herself so much. She says her last boyfriend was really fucked up and ruined her self esteem, made her feel like she was the lowest and that since then she has always struggled to love herself.

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So to try and hook the new guy in her life, who will sleep with her but not commit to her, she is getting breast implants to make herself more attractive to him. If thats not unhealthy I don’t know what is. And I’m telling you, this chick is stunning. A little bit fake looking, because she dresses herself and does hair and makeup to be Carmen Electra, but shes beautiful in a wholesome blonde American girl next door kinda way. Just watching her go through so much pain, both on the inside and outside with recovery, is horrible.

As far as I can tell, just after seeing the shorts for next weeks episode, all of these are about girls trying to get on the cover of Maxim. It really upsets me that for these girls to feel good about themselves, they morph themselves into breast implanted, fake nail wearing, hair extensioned promo girls. It reflects so much about society, when so many women are feeling the pressure to conform into this male pleasing image, and even carve into their bodies to make sure they have the sufficient breasts, lips or even vagina.

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Anyway, I don’t have much to add. I just thought it was really sad these women thought they had to go through this to make themselves happy, when it was obvious that the problem lies within their egos and their own lack of self worth fueled by the impossible standards of beauty that magazines like Maxim create.

A Quick Message From My Hideout

November 4, 2008

“All I hear is raindrops

Falling on the rooftop

Tell me why you had to go

Coz this pain I feel it won’t go away

And today

I’m officially missing you..”

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I am literally sitting in my room pretending to be asleep while my sister and her friends wait for me to wake up and drink with them. I don’t know if I can do it, I’ve seriously had enough. I’ve been drinking all weekend and making small talk with people and its killing my soul. Theres something about smiling when you don’t really want to, after a while your face just says ‘fuck it, I’m out, we’re done!’ and it starts looking like a pained grimace.

My sis came back from India for a few days, so I can’t get out of this one. But I’m so tired, so done, I’m all used up with drinking and talking. I’ve had a huge weekend. Friday I watched Terminator 2, probably the best of all the Terminators, and spray tanned my sister, straightened my bros hair for a dress up party and had trouble sleeping again. Saturday was one long ass pub crawl through Hawthorn, (which could have ended prematurely because the bouncers at the Glenferrie are fucked!) which finished at some empty bourgeoisie cigar bar that our crew of thirty took over (unfortunately, they didn’t have any bouncers so they couldn’t get rid of us). I spent a lot of that night in an alley way helping my sister throw up but apparently there was some batman climbing clocktower antics and some harrassing of rich people and some fancy cuban cigar work that I missed out on.

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“And I’m not, not sure

Not too sure how it feels

To handle everyday

Like the one that just passed

In the crowds of all the people

Remember today, I’ve no respect for you

And I miss you love..”

Sunday and Monday were funeral days. I barely cried, I don’t know why.. I cry at everything, so I don’t understand it. Have I suddenly gotten cold? Have I run out of crying steam? Is it because I was surrounded by people? I thought maybe it was because I did a lot of crying the day I found out, but I don’t know. Maybe I’m not a crier anymore. I finally got to sleep though. Its been what, a week? Maybe two? I think I’m stressed out, or I’ve been stretched too far. And the Christmas season hasn’t even begun yet, man I’m struggling! I never thought there would come a day when I didn’t actually want to get on the drinks.

So thats the go. I’ll write a real post soon, but I have to go drink with India now. Just checking in to do some complaining. Oh, I found out something interesting though. I was talking to my aunt and mentioned reading Tarot and told her I’d read her cards one day and she was shocked. She said my grandmothers mother used to be into all of that stuff and was apparently quite gifted and that she must have passed it onto me. It was pretty comforting to know that someone else could read and that I wasn’t just crazy, finally feels like I fit into the family. I’m not the only gypsy girl! I’m out yo, see you at your places for some catch up reading.

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