Merry Xmas

 x-maschick

I love the Xmas season and spirit, I used to be excited by presents, but leading up to this year I was just like ‘Blah, we all buy each other gifts, whats the point, who cares..’ There was nothing I could think of that I wanted, or that people could give me that would excite me because I have money, and I can just buy what I need for myself. And I stress out when I buy for others because the hugeness of my family means I have to take a lot of time to find stuff, and I want to get them something they would want, not just look at and think ‘meh’. So this year I thought, I only ever want clothes so thats what I’ll get them. Plus I know clothes, so it was an easy way out.

I was completely blown away by the gifts I recieved from people. When you get a gift, and you didn’t even want anything and it turns out to be something you love, its the best thing ever. Because it means that the person who gave it to you truly knows you. They get who you are and what you are about. I never realised how much my family actually knew who I was, but those gifts proved it. And it is so comforting to think that I’m understood.

 charcoal-pencils

Some of the stand out things were a set of artists and charcoal pencils, because I used to sketch quite well, but I stopped drawing because I suppose being creative got pushed down on the list of priorities when I started partying, working and studying. But not long ago I was mucking around with charcoal and it was such a pleasure to use, so someone was obviously paying attention and its nice to be encouraged.

I got a little golden argile, or shishka, or hookah, or whatever you call it. To me its an argile, and it reminds me of the nights I spent in Lebanese homes, playing cards and having fun without alcohol, because they were all Muslim. That was a big part of my life, I was always at a function or visiting someones relatives, doing the 3-kiss cheek thing and shocking people with my Arabic. But I haven’t thought of that life for a long time, its behind me.

Anime, clothes, Gilmore Girls dvds, a manicure set because I’m always painting and preening my nails, a palmistry book because I’m into all that, as you would know. It would be a nice prelude to reading someone’s Tarot if I could check out their palm first and get an idea on their life. They all lead to one another, Tarot, palmistry, runes, astrology. So once you’ve learnt one, its a lot easier to learn another, because its from the same school of thought. And you all might roll your eyes, but I like to think I have an intuitive gift for reading.

 gilmore

The present that made my eyes tear up was a book from my mother about Australian foreign correspondents and some of their stories and anecdotes. She’s never been a fan of me learning Arabic or hanging out with Muslims, or involving myself in politics and defending things she didn’t understand. We had a bad relationship when I was 16 till about 20 because I was so immersed in it, and she seemed unfairly biased, so I just shut her out and she resented it even more. We mended ourselves and we’re very close now, she is one of my closest friends and we think of ourselves in a Gilmore-esque way, but for her to give me this book just stunned me. It was like saying, ‘Hey I know we always had our fights, and I disapproved of your plans to go to Palestine and fight for something that has nothing to do with you, for reasons I never got, but I believe in you. I know this is what you want to do and I support it and I’m going to help you.’

I always had doubts in my mind, but when you see that people truly do believe in you, and think you can achieve your goals it gives you so much confidence. I’m used to defending and persuading people to understand what I want to do, I’ve never been supported or encouraged. So that gift meant a lot to me. All of them did. Its one thing for people to say ‘You’re okay Luli, we get you, we understand you,’ because words are malleable, they come and go, they can be empty. But when you are shown that you are valued, it means more than anything that can be said, and its concrete evidence.

 peaceful

This Christmas I expected to be drained and bored, and instead I was left inspired and awed. I feel like people know me, and that makes me think that I’ve fully developed myself, who I am and all of that. It gives me confidence and a feeling of happiness that is unmatched by anything I’ve ever felt, because I’m sure of myself now, and all I want to do is make other people happy too. Because I know that through whatever I can always be okay, but not everyone is given the tools or resources I have for finding their own happiness. Some people are slipping, and some have given up altogether. And some don’t have the kind of support base that I’ve been blessed with to draw inner strength or peace from.

To me Xmas is about supporting and showing family and friends your love in a blatantly honest way, because during the rest of the year it can sometimes be hidden and unknown. The second part is reaching out and doing whatever you can to help those who are not as fortunate as you are, because we are not all born with the ability to help ourselves. And there is nothing more uplifting than when someone says to you, “I’m behind you, and I’m going to help.”

It gives you hope.

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15 Responses to “Merry Xmas”

  1. Reuben Says:

    Merry Christmas, Luli.

    I don’t plan to drink that much during Christmas; I think the Muslim tradition is the right idea (not because I’m a ‘weak’ atheist). But I’d doubt you’d convince the rest of the world – let alone Australia – to give up alcohol.

  2. Marty Says:

    Oh LuLi, I missed you, in a writing kinda way. :o) Not that you exist solely for the purposes of my blog-reading entertainment or anything.

    It’s nice that this Christmas energised you. Mine was plain but with family so I liked it. We did the usual stuff, it was cool, food and prezzies and food.

  3. This Devil's Workday Says:

    I wish my family knew me that well. Partly my fault for being a closed off little prick to my parents. I basically wrote a list of things I wanted, handed it to my Mum, and whenever anyone asked “what do you want?” I just directed them to her. My brother didn’t follow the list and bought me a t-shirt instead (one that looks exactly like the type he would wear). All my other gifts came from the list… actually my sister bought me a book that wasn’t on the list that we had been talking about for a while. She had read it before and really liked it and thought I’d enjoy it (about the Manson family murders lol).

    The closest way I can relate to this in that case is Kris Kringle with my friends, we do it every year. In the past the guys typically buy stupid presents, and I think that’s annoying because the girls put in effort, and then in return they get stupid stuff like candy panties or anal beads (yes, those specific gifts). This year I was very pushy with all the guys to try hard, and they did a lot better. The only stupid gift was one guy who gave a girl a ball scratcher. Seems like a waste of $30 to me. So everyone got a proper present except her (she is a aggressive and gets accused of being a bloke a lot). I got a CD, the exact one I was after, but only because my mate asked me two nights earlier “Look, I’m just gonna admit it because you’ve been going on about people giving crap presents… I’ve got you for Kris Kringle. What do you want?”

  4. LuLi Says:

    Reuben – Thanks, merry xmas! Its pretty hard to give up alcohol, especially when you’re used to drinking it to relax. My Muslim friends often had trouble not drinking around me, because I would give them the temptation to, not on purpose, just by drinking at bars and stuff..

    Marty – Thank you Marty, its so nice to be missed, even in a writing blog entertainment way. I think I’ve had a little writers block, and I thought I’d be able to post at work, but everyone is always reading over my shoulder and stuff which is annoying. I’m glad you had a nice xmas too, the smaller the better if you ask me.

    TDW – Its sounds like you were just being efficient with the list, so at least people would have an idea what you want. No one really even asked me, my bros wife and my sis and mum kinda pride themselves on their good present giving, but if they had of asked I couldn’t have even told them what I wanted. Candy pants made me lol, your boys sound as silly as mine. Sounds like you scared your mate about your present and he didn’t wanna fk it up!

  5. WendySkeleton Says:

    $30 for a ball scratcher?! That’s what hands are for. What big sillies they are.

    I am not a big fan of Christmas at all, and I just cringe when people say “Merry Christmas to you!” with a big cheer on their face. I just reply, “And Not Merry Christmas to you!” With a big cheer on face, of course.

    I have a good friend, who I have been friends with since year three in school, and I still don’t know what she would want. What could I possibly give her? I know she would like a car, but do I have the money to afford that?

    In general, I feel giving presents if just like giving fluff – it’s pretty meaningless, and then you have to do it all over again next Christmas to fill the void. Damn that consumerism.

  6. LuLi Says:

    Lol, Wendy I used to be like that too. I’d think ‘Merry Xmas? What does that even MEAN!’ I didn’t like to take part in any way, because I didn’t want to encourage Christianity. But now I think its more of an Australian holiday too, with just some optional religion around the edges. Presents are only good when they are enjoyed, I like the giving, its good to make someone happy with something they like..

  7. WendySkeleton Says:

    Oh I agree, giving something does give you a satisfactory feeling. I just feel we don’t need a holiday to remind us to give things that will make people happy. I want people to think, “Hey, I think I’ll give something to someone just to make them happy, not because I have to fulfill a holiday wish.”

    (Yes, you are talking to Ms. Cynical here.)

  8. j...... Says:

    oh so late merry xmas, luli! :*

  9. Kezza Says:

    Merry Christmas to you Luli, yeah I know…. waaaaaaay too late. Glad to hear you scored alright in the pressie department, but even more so that you got a little something which meant a little something to you. Thats incredible! Your Christmas made me happy! (yeah I know I’m a weird unit)

  10. LuLi Says:

    Wendy – I agree, as cliched as it is, its just more rewarding to give than recieve. Its true, we shouldn’t need a holiday, but holidays are pretty nice to have, because not only is it a day off, but the entire continent can celebrate with us.

    J – Better late than never! Merry Christmas J 🙂

    Kezza – Merry Christmas, in internet time the world moves differently, don’t worry about lateness. How did your own xmas turn out? I wish Santa coulda given you back your blog 😦

  11. Domino Says:

    Bit late but Merry Christmas 🙂

  12. Andy Says:

    I’m glad you had a great Christmas, Luli. I love the perspective you have about what the day means.

    And you make sure you have a great new year. Us old farts have to live vicariously through the shenanigans of you more youthful types, so don’t let us down!

  13. gullybogan Says:

    Princess insists that excessmas lasts until the wise guys arrive, so i’m still in time, by that reckoning, to wish you a merry one.

    So, hey. Have you ever published your old drawings here? I don’t remember seeing any…

  14. Melissa B. Says:

    Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year, too! Hey there, you Superior Scribbler, you! Melissa B., The Scholastic Scribe, here, checking in with fellow Scribblers! BTW, I’ve got a couple of things on my mind today. First off, don’t forget Sx3 tomorrow…it’s a stitch! And I’ve got a pretty good chance of snagging a superior blog award…thanking you in advance for your support!

  15. LuLi Says:

    Domino – Cheers mate, merry xmas and happy new yr!

    Andy – Thanks, I hope your first one with Lauren was awesome. She must be nearly old enough to get excited about toys yeah? I had a very good New Year and I will probably regale you all with the tale sooner or later. Happy New Year Andy 😀

    Gully – Aw cheers Gully, its never too late, as long as your tree is still up, in my opinion. Hope you had a nice one and a great New Years. I haven’t yet put any pictures up, but I’m thinking I might soon. Don’t worry you won’t miss it, I’ll make a big kerfuffle about my drawing techniques and what not.. haha.

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