In 2009 I Will Stop Dating Psychos

Now that I’ve sufficiently tantrumed it up about Palestine, I can relate to you the enchanting experiences that have been my on and off holidays. Our busy season at work is right now, even for the mindless shit I have to do, so unfortunately I couldn’t get all the days off but I did manage to party hard and will continue to do so on weekends as is the usual Luli fashion.


Let me begin by telling the tale of my date on Xmas eve-eve. I went out for drinks after work one night with my sister in law, who I would describe as the hot librarian type. As with all hot librarians, after a few drinks she cuts loose and gets wild, so its always an exciting night when she gets involved although you would never pick her as the crazy type. We were in for a big one, trawling from pub to bar in the city, ending up at Transport in Fed Square. Luck of the gods, it was Tradies night! I have never seen so many hot, built men in one area before, and without the usual packs of females stalking them like lionesses hunting for prey in African savannas. Probably a ratio of one girl to twenty guys, so I was loving my odds.

The guy I met seemed awesome, a bit older than me at 28, soon to be turning 29. He only really stood out because he gave good convo, I was all set to lash on him and his friends when he said something too smartassed, but my girls were like ‘Nah stay!’ and he apologised so I let him off the hook. Anyway, whatever, he got my number and we decided to go out for a movie a few days later.


On the date we went to see that Bond movie, Quantum of Solace, of which the title is probably the best feature. I was so bored, sorry to the Bond fans, but I’m gonna put it out there and say it has absolutely no appeal to anyone with a need for a decent plot in a movie. The action was constant and so fast that I couldn’t keep up with it, plus the Bond guy isn’t even hot.

So bad movie choice by him. Not only that, but he kept talking bout his exes for like a hundred years, telling me they had psych issues (one had anorexia, the other had cancer and depression) and asking me multiple times if I had any. It was like he wanted me to. The way his convo was going was revolving around him being this major hero to every female character in his life, and to be honest it was all weirding me out a bit. I felt like he thought I was a weak psych issue girl who he wanted to depend on him, so he could be in control. I was getting predator vibes, especially when he kept trying to hug me and kiss me in the cinema. I would just wriggle out of his grasp and was careful not to look at him incase he surprise kissed me. Is cinema PDA inappropriate to anybody else? 15mins into the movie I knew I wanted to ditch him, but I didn’t want to be harsh. I would at least stick around for after movie coffees.


After movie coffees were worse. He asked to see my id (WTF WHO DOES THAT) and I was like “Don’t you trust me?” and he’s like “Nah, I do,” but still persisted in seeing it. Later I realised how dumb that was, coz now he knows my address. When he gave it back I go “Did you memorise the numbers?” talking about the birth date, and he got all flustered and was like “What?” And when he realised I meant my DOB he was visibly relieved and I thought nothing of it till later, but yeah. So I’m a fuckhead. Plus he knows where I work too. And during the convo he kept lying and switching his stories around to suit what he thought I’d want to hear, which I picked up on a little the first night, but became way more obvious during coffee. He cracked the shits when I took the bill, and when I asked why he goes “Because you’re the girl.” Sigh.

A few days later I told him I didn’t wanna continue it, citing age as the major factor. In all honesty, the age didn’t bother me, but it bothered him so I figured if I said it he would understand and it wouldn’t be too painful. The thing is I’m feeling a little stalked by him. He called me like two days later at 4.30am but I missed the call because I was obviously asleep on a Tuesday night at that time, and he’s mes’d me but I didn’t reply. Now today he’s trying to add me on facebook and I ignored him, but with much anguish. I just want him to fuck off. I have a new sim ready to change my number if he persists.


New Years Eve was pretty good, just got very drunk, and seeing as I was still recovering from my bad date I was wary of talking to boys and decided to never pick up at a pub/club/bar ever again for my resolution. It can only end in psychos and awkwardness. So far, so good, but resolutions are made to be broken and I’m going out this weekend for the hot librarians birthday so I’m guessing its gonna be tested. I talk like I’ve been on it for ages, and its only like 8 days into the year! Damn my flirty drunken ways.

How were your NYE’s? What did you get up to? Resolutions?


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41 Responses to “In 2009 I Will Stop Dating Psychos”

  1. gabrielcmoth Says:


    nice one…

  2. Jeremy Says:

    Just say to him “don’t contact me again or I’ll pop down to the Magistrates’ Court and get an intervention order.” I doubt you’ll hear from him again.

  3. Reuben Says:

    Clearly that guy was an idiot – and like most idiots, have an abnormal melatonin ( count – which would explain his calling you at 4:30.

    I met a weird girl at NYE…though I must be careful about what I say seeing as a fellow blogger and friend knows this person too. To put it plainly, this girl was perhaps the stupidest person I’ve ever met. I know I sound cruel and cavalier, but there’s only so many syllables in a given sentence about ‘why there are stars’ that I can take. She didn’t know what a star was (this socializing took place in Pakenham – where light pollution was minimal).

    Other than that, I’ve had little experience with girls. I’m usually too awkward, shy and tend to say weird random shit with little in the way of coherence. That’s probably why I have two blogs and deviantART account, on second thoughts…

  4. TDW Says:

    FUCK i wrote heaps but it failed me and now its gone. here we go again…

    the guy is crazy. everyone knows u dont take a girl to an action movie on a first date. i saw vicky christina barcelona last night, with a girl but not a date. that wouldve been a better choice. and cinema pda is for 13 year olds, like when i was 13 and “saw” mission impossible 2. those were the days.

    i went to that event in geelong and despite an unlimited supply of alcohol i failed to get drunk – i think ive become immune. i even maintained two drinks at all times. the one girl i almost got with went to bed before i managed to get back to the campsite. you see i missed the taxi and had to walk for an hour and missed her. LOSER!

  5. WendySkeleton Says:

    Uh, is that TDW talking there or someone else… Yes…


    That guy is a weirdo. Reading that, I thought he was probably just eccentric, but I thought wrong.

    Plus I also think the Bond guy is not hot as well. He has nice eyes, but other than that, his face… well, we’ll just leave it at that. And the fact that I can’t remember his name, I think that says something.

  6. Reuben Says:

    I’m with Wendy. That doesn’t sound like TDW…

    I don’t think it matters what movie you take a girl too. If you both agree to the flick (and presumably, you’re not imposing), it should be OK.

  7. LuLi Says:

    Gabriel – heh, thanks.

    Jeremy – If he rocks up to my work or house I plan to say something exactly like that.

    Reubs – I agree, he must be an idiot to call me at that hour. What could he have to say at 4am? Girl interaction will be at its most easiest in bars, parties and pubs, full of dumb girls like you just mentioned, who are worth talking to if only for the interaction experience. Think of it like a game, the more exp. you get, the more points you win! And thus the easier the game is to clock.

    TDW (it truly is him, friends, I remember him telling me about his Geelong thing) – Man! Shittest movie ever. And I’m good with action movies, 5th Element, Aliens, Predator.. I love that shit! Seriously if it wasn’t for the weird convo, I prob wouldn’t have been so annoyed at watching it, but yea. Did you get your girls number at least? Don’t ever say that, ur not immune! No one would wish such a horrible fate on you! Try harder!

    Wendy – He does have nice eyes, but an old withery face. Every guy I’ve spoken to thinks hes awesome though? Wack.

    Reubs – It doesn’t really matter to me, unless its particularly bad and the company is also bad. A shit movie with a good person is automatically upgraded to an ok movie.

  8. Reuben Says:

    Is that an invitation? 😉

  9. LuLi Says:

    Is that an example of your flirting? 😛

  10. Marty Says:

    Well sweet LuLi, I once asked to have a look at a girl’s ID card after we’d gone out every day for two weeks straight (we had free time) and she still wouldn’t tell me her age. I tried to make it sound innocent, like I just wanted to see the photo or something. She was like, “Do you think I’m stupid?” So it could happen… but maybe not on a first date. Hmmm.

  11. Reuben Says:


    Stay tuned…there’s a blogger meet-up I’m planning sometime for everyone on my blog roll…

  12. TDW Says:

    It really is me! I’ve been doing this “can’t be bothered logging in so I’ll just call myself TDW” for a while now and finally people have become suspicious. Thankfully you knew of my Geelong thing to confirm. Plus I sent you that deviantART pic recently – just saying, so you know it definitely is me, not that you suspected otherwise.

  13. Reuben Says:

    I’m convinced.

  14. LuLi Says:

    Marty – If I’d been dating him 2 weeks, I think I could’ve handled passing over the ID, because by then I would probably know him a lot better and have (some) trust in him. First date IDing is weird, its like checking that your above 18 to get into the date. I hate getting ID’d at clubs and liquor shops so on a date I found it particularly annoying.

    Reubs – Sounds interesting, I may be in. If I am I’ll prob invite my blogroll too =P

    TDW – Yeah I knew it was you, I was never doubtful, plus it has your picture. Hey I went JB and they only had the Directors Cut!!

  15. gullybogan Says:

    You are *so* right about hot librarians.

    How priceless is the guy asking to see your ID? Maybe he’s had jailbait issues in his past?

    And the auditioning process he put you through? Nah, he sounds like a creep to me.

    As you probably know, Sybylla had some issues with a guy over excessmas/ny: she broke up with him, and she had to change her SIM, too. I thought she was being too trusting when she gave the guy her real number straight off. Normally she uses her pranking phone and its disposable number with guys.

    And the whole stalking thing? Based on our recent experiences with Astraboy, all i can say is good luck, and i hope he finds someone else with an attractive set of psych issues he can haunt instead of you.

  16. The Mutant Says:

    I don’t think you need to worry too much about upsetting this guy, he sounds a little loopy so the best thing to do is use small words to explain to him why you don’t think the two of you should maintain contact. It does tend to work, it may be blunt but don’t go sparing this guy’s emotions at the expense of your own. And remember this whole dating malarky would be quite a snooze if it weren’t for guys like him!

  17. TDW Says:

    FORGET the director’s cut. They’re just trying to get rid of all their old copies, it was probably about 12 bucks right? Only focus on the final cut.

  18. LuLi Says:

    Gully – I’m certain he wanted the id to see where I lived, he was too weird when I asked if he memorised the numbers not to be guilty. I’m glad I took my mothers car, one of the most boring and popular navy blue fords on the roads. My own car is really recognisable, so at least thats one thing I kept to myself! Poor Sybylla, I know her pain. All you do is put yourself out there to find nice ppl n u get barred!

    Mutant Boi – Thats exactly why I don’t wanna upset him, coz he’s a mess! What if he went savage or something? These are the type of guys who will blackmail you, and I’ve been through that shit b4 and its fkd bad. Plus, I kinda feel harsh hurting ppls feelings. I know thats the game, and you gotta be in it to win it and all of that, but its hard 4 me. At least I have stories to tell you all from my bad exp!

    TDW – Yea it was cheap, but you were quite adamant that the directors cut was all wrong so I just pulled all the copies out and looked behind em for the final cut, to no avail. I’m focused, don’t worry! Its final or nothing.

  19. The Mutant Says:

    Okay so there is the psycho nutter possibility, but its slim. Honestly, I’ve known men who I thought would loose it, but they don’t – they just latch onto someone else at the first opportunity, now don’t get me wrong, reading about other peoples dating disasters is fun but put yourself first, you shouldn’t have to endure this creep at all if you don’t want to.

  20. LuLi Says:

    I hope he finds someone else soon then. If he does anything more I will probably flip out at him a bit. I know myself and I hate being trapped or backed against a wall. Or I’ll be nice and say something like “What are you doing man? You’re overstepping the boundaries. Don’t make this weird.” I won’t endure anything, its just my ‘end’ lines are a bit weak, u think? What would u have said?

  21. Nick Says:

    You are mentally challenged……..just read your crap comment regarding muslim school at camden. That psycho nutter is you and all your muslim rapist friends. Australia was wealthier and better off when it was ‘whiter’. Now that all the foreign trash has arrived, isn’t it amazing that our standard of living has dropped?

  22. The Mutant Says:

    I’m probably not particularly helpful seeing as I’m a bit useless at telling people where to go, hence why I spent my NYE getting slobbered on by someone I didn’t particularly like, it was easier than hurting their feelings. Of course if he’s a big, fit, tradie maybe you could introduce us and I’ll see if I can take him off your hands!

  23. LuLi Says:

    Nick – You are so retarded that I let your comment be posted because of how shit your opinions are and how stupid it makes you look. Cry and die you piece of shit, I’m publishing your email. I hope its yours because I’m going to be using it to sign up for every multicultural e-news letters I come across, until you stop your evil racist ways. .. please spam this wanker.

    Mutant – I thought you had a bf? He was actually the only non-tradie guy in the place, so unfortunately there were no boots or hi-vis tops for him to be buff in.

  24. j.................. Says:

    Oh, such verve…

    Ahm, just to be different



    Ahm, really, that guy is (probably) only a weirdo not yet acquainted enough with the word «no»,

    but you don’t want to be the one who will teach him such things, so

    Jeremy’s right 😛

  25. Reuben Says:

    Luli gets all the best trolls. 😉

  26. TDW Says:

    And to think I used to actively seek out the trolls. To no avail. I failed.

  27. Reuben Says:

    Philliptravers will probably seek us all out eventually…don’t worry, TDW.

  28. LuLi Says:

    J – ahhhh Jesus! It always comes back to Jesus! hehe.. Yeah I will take that advice, but luckily he’s left me alone since I rejected his facebook request.

    Reuben – Apparently I’m more enraging than I realise! But you know what they say, you’re nobody till you’re hated by somebody.

    TDW – Just hang around here.. They love the Streets!

  29. Reuben Says:

    “But you know what they say, you’re nobody till you’re hated by somebody.”

    I think that can only be applied in terms of youth gang warfare…but if you insist!

    I was a little alarmed by the chants of Jesus…me being a strong atheist and all. I think it’s a bit unfair to all the other dead people if we don’t shout out there names.

  30. LuLi Says:

    Lol! Ahh yes, but we must not impose our atheism on the religious, or we would be just as bad. Its ok though, J is a regular and was just playing (I assume!)

  31. Reuben Says:

    Oh ok…

    I don’t want to impose my atheism on people; I only do it when the religious initiate it. I’m really a secularist at heart – not minding what people believe in, so long as they keep it to themselves.

    One thing I do think I should impose on others though is my disdain for Vegemite. It’s the most chemically-similar to urine 😉

    Wow…way to go off topic-tangent.

  32. LuLi Says:

    I’m the same, they can do their thing as long as it does not interfere with my freedoms.

    Oh, no! I love vegemite! But not spread thickly, just thin enough to flavour the bread. My dad is a true ozi bloke, he bred me on it. So its not really my fault, its in my blood.

  33. Reuben Says:

    Indeed, Luli…but I still think no ideas should go unchallenged – with a respectful debate. That’s why I try to disagree with everyone…

    It still tastes like saline solution mixed with margarine. It’s also quite unpopular – as the GrodsTeam have uncovered.
    But maybe it’s just me…seeing as I’m probably the only person in Australia who doesn’t like the taste of caramel, lollies or sweets. 🙂

  34. Domino Says:

    What a freak!
    You should get a code red person. I think I’ve mentioned it before. If you’re in a situation where you need your person asap you text them “code red” and other details regarding your situation and no matter what they are doing or where they are they come find you. Brilliant, I know, I came up with it in a dream.

  35. Reuben Says:

    Domino, I don’t know what you guys have up in Queensland, but our police tend to be fairly ‘jolly on-the-spot’. Alternatively, people could just call me up so I can successfully weird-them to death.

  36. LuLi Says:

    Reuben – Young grasshopper, I was once like you. I used to argue with everyone at every party or drinks about all the topics of the world. But now I just let them go. If they ask my opinion I’ll give it, but otherwise most people are too uneducated to know any better and its not worth the argument.

    Domino – Oh yeah I remember your code thing! I would have just walked out myself though, I was thinking about it. But I decided I would give him the benefit of the doubt and allow him the entire date to ruin as he pleased.

  37. Reuben Says:

    Young Grasshopper?

    I suppose it’s my turn to question your flirting ethics…

  38. LuLi Says:

    Well I’m not flirting! Master Po used to say it.

  39. Reuben Says:

    Well it’s quite silly anyway…

  40. LuLi Says:

    What else do you expect from an idiot? 😛

  41. Reuben Says:

    A village, for starters.

    I didn’t think it was silly in the bad sense of the term; I just thought it lacked the soberness of most of your other posts…

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