Office Workers Have No Sense Of Morality


The office life sucks a fat one. The first month or so I was bemused by the pettiness and sensitivity of my co-workers in regards to anything and everything. I would laugh at the stupidity of their gossip and how shallow they were. I was disappointed at the blatant racism and prejudices thinly veiled behind the pretence of jokes. I marvelled at the quick wit and snipey back and forth comments.

But things change once you are pulled into the fray. I should have never gone to after work drinks, where people stop being neutral-ish and let their claws have a free reign on their victims. You’d think after work drinks would just be a fun chance at picking up that hottie on the other side of the floor, and while it is (confirmation! He thinks I’m cute!) the other side is that you have heard the backstabbing. You have been trusted. You are an accessory. Before you know it, you’re in a clique and not even your best efforts to remain separated from the bullshit will keep you clean of blame.

The worst thing about office life is that at any moment there can be a mutiny without any indication of why. Suddenly your allies are your enemies and your back up crew are your ride or die soldiers. And they are triggered by the most bullshit reasons imaginable. If you put something in the wrong bin it is cause for a fight. Every single word you utter must be clearly thought through in case of any unintentional implication. For straight forward people it is hell. They are confused and their aggressors run circles around them in the arena. It is not their game and they often end up losing.


You can never trust anyone more than yourself because everything is ammo and it is dog eat dog. You must do your best not to get swept up in the drama, but appear to care so that others don’t feel like your indifference is a threat. At after work drinks, getting too drunk is ALWAYS a mistake. You let your guard down and so do others, hence too much talking/flirting takes place. You make bonds and promises that you don’t want a part of later.

Some things that have pissed me off at work:

*People making fun of others for being dorky. Let people live how they want to live, fuck!

*People swearing/cursing about others for speaking a language other than English on the telephone. Shut the fuck up man, this is multicultural Australia, its probably their freaking mother on the line.

*People excluding and making others uncomfortable in group situations.

*People starting false rumours about others to ruin their reputations.

*People bitching about others behind their backs, then sucking up to them later.

*People coming up and having a hissy fit at me (or the office equivalent of) for shit that is not my fault! And its the whole blame game thing after that annoys me the most, nobody takes responsibility for their shit. When I fuck up, I’ll let you know, and I’ll apologise for it accordingly. Everyone else cowardly points the finger in every other direction but at themselves, like the rats they are.


Anyway, I’ve had a shocking day. And my train was delayed for like half an hour. I also got a hole in my stockings and the chick who I thought was my office best bud is not speaking to me, Allah only knows why. Calling people on their bullshit is starting to make me a target, I wish I knew what rumours they were spreading about me too! It really annoys me that I’m sacrificing my creativity and writing, waking up early and catching the ugly delayed train for this 9 to 5 bullshit.

(Sorry about how angry this sounds, I just realised that it may be because I’ve quit smoking, and after a week or so its made me kind of agitated. Angsty. Emo-evil. [You know, the emos who aren’t just sad, but mean too, and go out of their way to be all edgy and piss people off and listen to Paramore as much as they can.])


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22 Responses to “Office Workers Have No Sense Of Morality”

  1. rayedish Says:

    Beginning to remember why I decided never to work in an office..sounds like fun and games. Only a few more weeks and then back to uni?

  2. LuLi Says:

    Unfortunately, I signed up till May with an option of staying longer. I’ll be doing uni part time, 2 night classes a week (But one of those days I’m taking off just for the sake of it). So, its only just the beginning =/

  3. TDW Says:

    It actually sounds a hell of a lot like the construction company I used to work at, where all the tradies bitches and moaned and pointed the finger at everyone but themselves. Everyone thinks they’re the hardest worker and the other guy is the laziest.

    I admit, I like “emo” music (although we could get into an argument about the fact that emo music actually started in the mid 1980s and what we call emo today is more related to fashion than a musical style, but that would be veering from the point), but I don’t really like that band Paramore, and am guessing you only know of them because of Twilight?

    Also I was in the city today and had an excellent train experience. As I was going down the escalators in Melbourne Central I peeked my head down to see the times (as everyone does) and my train was only three minutes away! No delay, not today.

  4. LuLi Says:

    I don’t mind emo music, and I even like Paramore, but I didn’t care for em until I played em on World Tour lol! Its just the angry mean emo kids that I don’t like, their fashion is even ok when done lightly.

    I’m glad your train experiences have been good, I was delayed again today. You were in my hood huh? Coulda walked past me and not even known.. Although I’ve become bored with Melb Central and have begun trekking to further destinations.

    I realised I kinda feel like an imposter at work. Everyone is all into it and profesh and I’m just pretending to care and ipoding it up, reading qdb all day long. Its no wonder I get annoyed at the “politics”. I guess all work places are similar if even your construction place is like that!

  5. Reuben Says:

    I’d recommend Dilbert as the best source of Office-relationship information. Of course it’s all exaggerated (and to my knowledge, nobody has a tie quite like Dilbert: the protagonist), but it’s based on reality.

  6. TDW Says:

    I don’t like the fashion in terms of those who take it to the extreme, but I like the elements that have entered mainstream society, i.e. tighter jeans, longer hair and no more of those surfy brands.

    Melbourne Central shopping wise is good, but Melbourne is all about the smaller boutique joints anyway, right?

  7. LuLi Says:

    Reuben – Thanks, I will check out Dilbert. I’ve been meaning to because its so popular but you know you just never get around to these things.

    TDW – I agree, I like some of the parts that can be taken out to add an edge to other looks. And thats very Melbourne, that whole eclectic vibe. The surfy look had its day, its nice to have something more urban. Melb is awesome with boutiques, all the best stuff is in the hidden away shops!

  8. gullybogan Says:

    I get way uncomfortable when i’m sitting with my colleagues and they’re bagging the shit out of someone not present, cos i just know that they’ll be bagging the shit out of me the next time i’m not there.

  9. macrame Says:

    Bagging the shit out of someone it just so boring! So say so. It’s mean , it’s uncreative and unproductive and depressing. your letting your life being dominated by others and not yourself.

    I have worked for a number of office organisations and they have ranged the spectrum. Usually the older and nerdy workers were the most fun. So keep an open mind. Be positive and discuss what interests you. Turn the topic around. Because people smile if you do. People laugh if you do. If you say the unexpected, they might change your expectations.

    Just remember – Most people don’t like to bitch. Really!!!

    Some of the most ordinary “office people” are the most remarkable people. I admire their ability to “transcend boredom” and be open to new ideas.

  10. Marty Says:

    I’d kind of thought of you as a uni chick, subconsciously. Oh well, good luck in your new battleground. At least you understand it.

  11. Andy Says:

    Getting out into the big, wide world of the fulltime worker? Congrats- I’d say you’ll learn to love it, but I’d be lying out of my arse.

    Hell, that’s why I don’t do it anymore. Working blows. Working in a big office blows BIG. I’m puzzled, though- I thought you were on the path towards a journalism career? Why the detour?

    As for office politics, I can only suggest that you use it for your own amusement. Stir the pot and watch to see people lose their minds.

    At least you’ll have a little entertainment. Should make the day go a little quicker.

  12. Domino Says:

    Sounds like High School 2.0

    In relation to your emo convo. I hate the retard emos…those ones who don’t get the look right so they end up looking wrong…You gotta have the hair right! I’m gonna post about the surf retards after dinner.

  13. internetdrama Says:

    I work at catholic school with nuns and crazy teachers. The drama never ends! If we’re mature enough to work, we should be mature enough to deal with stuff at work with a dignified, mature way.

    I really can’t stand drama at work. Everyone should come in to do their job and work towards the goal of whatever the organization is that they’re working at.

    But at the end of the day, you can’t expect people to be as mature as you are!

  14. LuLi Says:

    Gully – So true. If they gossip to you, chances are they gossip about you.

    macrame – My favourite people at work are the kooky ones, and my 2 best friends are both 20 years older than me. Some of the best friends can be found in unexpected places, and actually working has been great for extending my social life with all the cooler people.

    Marty – I’m still at uni, but feel free to think of me in any way you like. I’m just me..

    Andy – I’m on the journalism path still, more slowed myself down than detoured. I think I was just sick of being so poor & I wanted a change of pace. I didn’t realise it would effect my writing so much though =/ I think a break from the blog was overdue anyway, I’d been burning myself out for a while. In any case, I’m in the publishing field with this work so I’m making contacts & learning things =]

    Domino – It is high school 2.0!! Sometimes the shit they complain about is so childish..

    Internetdrama – Its strange how the power politics revert people back to childlike antics isn’t it?

  15. Ray Dixon (Bright) Says:

    I think we need another LuLi post – something to take our minds off the f*cking fires.

  16. LuLi Says:

    Ohh Ray, how has it been over there?

  17. Ray Dixon (Bright) Says:

    Bright wasn’t really threatened this time, LuLi, but there was plenty of smoke. We were lucky compared to those places closer to Melbourne.

  18. LuLi Says:

    Hopefully it all goes well for you tomorrow as well, 38 in Melb..

  19. Den Relojo Says:

    *People swearing/cursing about others for speaking a language other than English on the telephone.*

    I do not speak English on a daily basis, although I learned the language from school. But still, I could still get into some trivial troubles when I talk with native English speakers, ranging from my accent to word choice. I know that in spite of such lapses, we could still undertstand each other, so that shouldn’t be a big deal at all.

  20. LuLi Says:

    Den I think it is completely awesome that you have gotten so advanced at speaking english & even tho u may say it with an accent or missing words, it is a second language for you, and most of the people I’m talking about are too ignorant to even see the merit or hard work that goes into learning a second language. English speakers are so arrogant in thinking that everyone should learn THEIR language and not the other way around.

  21. Lil Says:

    It is eerily amazing how wise you are beyond your years LuLi! I’m forty eight and I am learning so much reading this blog.
    I am understanding that you live in Australia? No matter, Some things are universal. Thank you for sharing with us, and please keep sharing your observations of human nature!
    Thank You!

  22. LuLi Says:

    Aw cheers Lil, this comment made my day 🙂 I’m glad my writing has had such an effect! I do live in Australia, where are you from? I’ll definitely keep writing. Thanks for your comments!!

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