Sup Girlfrienddddd

“If you let me I could,

I’d show you how to build your fences

Set restrictions

Separate from the world

The constant battle that you hate to fight

Just blame the limelight..”

gyaru2

I’ve decided that no-one is ever going to read this blog, except maybe my husband if I ever get one. Its done, set in stone, no friends or family are ever getting their eyes on this shit! And this way I can continue with my post with full knowledge that no mofo I know is about to get offended because they’re shit and I want to complain.

What is it about me, that every female friend I have wants to control me? Put the reigns on and have a monopoly of my time? I have three “close” friends at work, and they all fight and bitch over who gets to have coffee with me, who will have after work drinks, who will take me to lunch.. Its insanely immature and really weirding me out. I have mentioned heaps of times that I am not a girl who gets along with many other females because I dislike the female politics, so going from zero to a hundred in like a month is kind of freaking me out.

If it was good natured stuff, like just genuinely wanting to be my friend, I think I would be okay with it. But its like I’m a toy and they’re fighting over who gets to have their turn. Its a power game of some sort and its all underhanded, manipulative stuff. One comes up to me and suggests something, then goes to the others and say I’m going somewhere with just them, which in turn offends that one who thinks I’m picking a favourite.

“I don’t want you to know

Too much about me, oh no

Coz I know you’d take advantage of the words that I say

You’re looking for a way to depress me

Make me pay..”

fmp_other235

Do I just give off submissive vibes or something? Do people just think I’m good to be controlled? Is that why that dickhead stalker weird guy wanted to date me? I’m being easy going and neutral, not vulnerable and needy. God, I hate it when people get clingy with me, or expect that I’ve entered into some kind of social contract that says I have to do this at these times with them, or face punishment of sooking bitchiness. Get real man, I’m no-ones property, I do what I want and always have.

Its mostly because I’m just being nice about it, doing what I want but saying it in an unoffensive way, so they think they’re still winning. Because I don’t really want to stoop to power games and mean comments, I want to just be happy me, unaffected by the bullshit. My usual way of handling this kind of stuff is to keep out of it entirely and not let myself be played into their little stunts. But I don’t know if thats working, maybe I should just cut right back on spending time with them & act like I’m busy? I’m not doing after work drinks anymore, thankfully, I have uni on Fridays.

I like them each a lot, in their own ways, despite how mean and snarky they can be with each other. Its like they’re just misguided? The thing that stumps me is that two of them claim to be all enlightened and spiritual, with the chakras and the new-age philosophies, and yet they still reserve the right to get all upset over a lunch date. I thought spirituality was about letting go and releasing the bad emotions? This is ridiculous.

“You think the way you live is okay

You think posin will save the day

You think we don’t see that you’re running

Better call your boys, coz we’re coming..”

nerd_pubphoto_small

Is it because they’re all at least ten years older than me and I’m a novelty? I don’t mean to imply that older women are like this, I know many who are beautiful and carefree in attitude. But maybe its what is behind the shit here. Maybe if I was closer to their age it wouldn’t be so much about ‘who I like better’, because I would be more on equal footing with them. Maybe if I was their age it would be them competing with me.

Oh fuck it, I’m just gonna cut back in outings unless its including more than one of them at a time. I don’t really like that they’re asking me for all my secrets, and then updates on them.. I’m too private to want to divulge my stuff. I guess because I don’t trust them one tiny bit, because how can I? The moment anyones back is turned they start talking smack. I think they must assume I’m some kind of fool, becaue I’m young, that I’m oblivious to all of their behind the scenes shit. It kind of amuses me when people think I’m dumber than I am, it means they have no idea how much I analyse everything. And thats a good advantage, to be a step ahead like that. So they think they’re having it over me, but really I’m playing along, fully aware of their manipulations.

The only good thing to come from being involved with a clique of Lebanese females during my teens is that I learnt ALL about the game.. and I’m never getting back in it again!

gyaru3

“You thought we broke up

And yeah you’re right, we really did

Wrote a verse I recited that was hot

But I had to re-write it coz

I thought we was united and we not

But though all the love that I got for you

Partner,  I picked apart your words

And I’m shocked in them interviews..”

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13 Responses to “Sup Girlfrienddddd”

  1. WendySkeleton Says:

    LuLi, who the heck are you hanging out with?! “I have three “close” friends at work, and they all fight and bitch over who gets to have coffee with me.” Seriously?

    That’s like the first year of high school.

  2. Dave from Albury Says:

    That’s like the first year of high school.

    Or a Mum’s group. Actually, it’s quite like a Mum’s group.

  3. LuLi Says:

    Wendy – Yeah, what was I thinking.. They’re barred. They have redeeming qualities, but I shouldn’t accept that on their terms right?

    Dave – Spot on! High school isn’t as complex, its more like outing people and playing favs. But a mums club has that extra mind game shit.

  4. The Mutant Says:

    Just remember, your only bond to these women is the fact you work together – you didn’t seek out their friendship, it was thrust upon you. That may be a negative approach to take but it can come in handy.

    I’m going through a similar scenario with some friends, all vying for my time and attention and at the end of the day its actually quite deflating, so I can understand what its like for you.

  5. TDW Says:

    At least they’re fighting to be with you rather than to get you away!

  6. Domino Says:

    I hate it when bitchy situations actually turn bitchy. It’s all about class. If you’re going to be a bitch to someone do it with style!

  7. LuLi Says:

    Mutant Boi – Today I have taken the steps towards un-attaching them to me, I left early for lunch & got my coffee without them. It is pretty draining to have people pulling at you from all sides.

    TDW – You say that like you’re surprised.. I’ll have you know I’m quite a lovable socialite!

    Domino – The way I do it is this, never bitch about work people to work people, do it to family or friends. Never cross the circles, its like ghost busters.. If you cross the streams the universe collapses, or u get marshmallow rainfall, I forget which.

  8. The Mutant Says:

    Atta girl! Keep that up and they’ll soon get the hint and before you know it you’ll be able to function as you want again!

  9. Reuben Says:

    I never let anyone control me, unless it’s involving some sort of sexual fetish involving peanut butter.

  10. LuLi Says:

    Mutant – Lets be honest, did I ever really function properly in the first place? 😛

    Reubs – Oh yeah, did u even need to say it? Peanut butter fetishes are ALWAYS excluded..

  11. Frog Says:

    Amen sister! People love telling people about their wants, their needs, their hates. I suppose its coz we’re really narcissistic. But I may be wrong.

  12. Ray Dixon (Bright) Says:

    no-one is ever going to read this blog, except maybe my husband if I ever get one

    LuLi, if you end up single forever the world’s an even crazier place than I thought it was.

  13. LuLi Says:

    Frog – No you’re spot on, secretly we all love ourselves & think everyone else does too!

    Ray – Thanks, at least I can always count on my cats to keep me company =D

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