“Why even fool with these other guys, they all stingy
All these dudes know how to say is gimme
Gimme some head, gimme some brain
Gimme your number, gimme your name
But if I get one night baby girl I swear
I’ll make you tell these other dudes gimme got ya here!”
My disclaimer is as following: I am disenchanted with the male population at the moment, as a long term single woman, I feel I am allowed a certain percentage of disillusionment with the opposite sex. Lets not get overly defensive, on the most part, I love you guys. I always give you a chance, perhaps naively, when I should be more closed to this kind of thing. Be lenient on my musings!
My question of the week is this: How long before a guy expects to sleep with a girl?
This is something I think obviously depends on the guy in question. You get an idiot guy, he wants it the night he meets you. A nice guy would wait longer before getting frustrated with you. A normal guy would expect it early, push for it if he doesn’t get it, and lash if someone else is giving it away for free. Oh my god, that sounded really bitter didn’t it? I’m sorry.
To be completely honest with you, it wouldn’t at all be out of line to call me a commitment-phobe. I mean, if you read the archives, there’s a lot of dating and a lot of me running away. Its hard enough to get me to settle down, let alone commit to them. And I won’t sleep with a guy unless I’m committed to him, which I think is fair. But my roadblock is always that he won’t commit to me unless he’s slept with me. So there’s a deadlock.
“Lemme get that huh, what you got up in them jeans?
Put it on me, or get lonely
Lemme get that huh, you know five car garages
Name on your bank account, all day massages
Lemme get that huh, I wanna put it on blast
Lemme get that, slow it down before I make you crash boy
Got what you want baby, got what you need
We can’t proceed less you got that for me..”
I’m pretty much my only single friend, all my kids are hooked up with someone and it’s like, once you’re out of the game too long, you have no idea. What is the waiting period? A week, a month, three months? Six? Sadly, my side of town is rather.. promiscuous. The people here don’t think twice about a one night stand, so the ones I could ask are going to have a very skewed opinion.
Lets not forget the times are changing. What was going down four years ago is not going down today. Sexual activity is on the increase, drastically. On any weekend you could decide to pick up someone simply for sex and that would not be unusual. Back in the day, it was less common. To me, its fucking wack. Along with this relaxation of attitudes I’m finding there is this notion of entitlement. A kiss is no longer just a kiss. It has to lead to something. Nothing annoys me more than when I’m with someone and we’re making out, and he tries something but I decline, and then he gets shitty because he thought it was going somewhere!
It happens so often that I’ve come to the conclusion that either I pick the worst guys to date or its just normal for there to be action within the first couple of weeks. Apparently, I’m the unusual one! Maybe I’m being unrealistic, expecting someone to wait when they could just go out tomorrow and get it without having to endure the whole dating thing. Has the sequence become sex, dating, baby, engagement? Am I completely out of the loop?
I know, I know, if he’s a good guy he won’t push me and he’ll be a complete gentleman and all of that. But its hard to believe in these magical elusive guys when I never run into any. And I have a large pool to select from, with uni, work, friends of friends, and guys I meet out and about. I’m starting to think someone’s been telling me fairy tales.
So has anyone noticed this change in the game plan? What are your experiences? How long do you wait?
“Truth or dare mami, listen and learn
I got a drop, I just took off the top
It’s your turn!
Show me what you got lil mama
Show me what you got pretty lady
Show me what you got shorty
Show me what you got baby
Hands up, now wave, wave, wave..”