Show Me What You Got Shorty

“Why even fool with these other guys, they all stingy

All these dudes know how to say is gimme

Gimme some head, gimme some brain

Gimme your number, gimme your name

But if I get one night baby girl I swear

I’ll make you tell these other dudes gimme got ya here!”

b5

My disclaimer is as following: I am disenchanted with the male population at the moment, as a long term single woman, I feel I am allowed a certain percentage of disillusionment with the opposite sex. Lets not get overly defensive, on the most part, I love you guys. I always give you a chance, perhaps naively, when I should be more closed to this kind of thing. Be lenient on my musings!

My question of the week is this: How long before a guy expects to sleep with a girl?

This is something I think obviously depends on the guy in question. You get an idiot guy, he wants it the night he meets you. A nice guy would wait longer before getting frustrated with you. A normal guy would expect it early, push for it if he doesn’t get it, and lash if someone else is giving it away for free. Oh my god, that sounded really bitter didn’t it? I’m sorry.

To be completely honest with you, it wouldn’t at all be out of line to call me a commitment-phobe. I mean, if you read the archives, there’s a lot of dating and a lot of me running away. Its hard enough to get me to settle down, let alone commit to them. And I won’t sleep with a guy unless I’m committed to him, which I think is fair. But my roadblock is always that he won’t commit to me unless he’s slept with me. So there’s a deadlock.

“Lemme get that huh, what you got up in them jeans?

Put it on me, or get lonely

Lemme get that huh, you know five car garages

Name on your bank account, all day massages

Lemme get that huh, I wanna put it on blast

Lemme get that, slow it down before I make you crash boy

Got what you want baby, got what you need

We can’t proceed less you got that for me..”

1210457495322

I’m pretty much my only single friend, all my kids are hooked up with someone and it’s like, once you’re out of the game too long, you have no idea. What is the waiting period? A week, a month, three months? Six? Sadly, my side of town is rather.. promiscuous. The people here don’t think twice about a one night stand, so the ones I could ask are going to have a very skewed opinion.

Lets not forget the times are changing. What was going down four years ago is not going down today. Sexual activity is on the increase, drastically. On any weekend you could decide to pick up someone simply for sex and that would not be unusual. Back in the day, it was less common. To me, its fucking wack. Along with this relaxation of attitudes I’m finding there is this notion of entitlement. A kiss is no longer just a kiss. It has to lead to something. Nothing annoys me more than when I’m with someone and we’re making out, and he tries something but I decline, and then he gets shitty because he thought it was going somewhere!

It happens so often that I’ve come to the conclusion that either I pick the worst guys to date or its just normal for there to be action within the first couple of weeks. Apparently, I’m the unusual one! Maybe I’m being unrealistic, expecting someone to wait when they could just go out tomorrow and get it without having to endure the whole dating thing. Has the sequence become sex, dating, baby, engagement? Am I completely out of the loop?

I know, I know, if he’s a good guy he won’t push me and he’ll be a complete gentleman and all of that. But its hard to believe in these magical elusive guys when I never run into any. And I have a large pool to select from, with uni, work, friends of friends, and guys I meet out and about. I’m starting to think someone’s been telling me fairy tales.

So has anyone noticed this change in the game plan? What are your experiences? How long do you wait?

b6

“Truth or dare mami, listen and learn

I got a drop, I just took off the top

It’s your turn!

Show me what you got lil mama

Show me what you got pretty lady

Show me what you got shorty

Show me what you got baby

Hands up, now wave, wave, wave..”

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18 Responses to “Show Me What You Got Shorty”

  1. steph Says:

    I hear ya. I have a lot of single friends and someone moved the goal posts for sure. I couldn’t handle these kind of head fuckery games. I wish you the best sweetie…..There’s always lesbianism 😉

  2. LuLi Says:

    Goddamn it, I knew it. A 99% strike rate is no coincidence! Oh well I guess I’m going to just have to be stubborn until I give up & switch teams. Thanks for the best wishes 🙂

  3. Insanity540 Says:

    Well no one should make you feel pressured to do anything you don’t wanna do. In my experience, physical urges take over quite quickly. There is nothing more confusing and annoying than the opposite sex on these matters, but that’s what makes it interesting. My advice, don’t adapt yourself or standards to meet someone elses expectations. At the same time, don’t be afraid to give into your urges from time to time… you never know where it’ll lead.

  4. LuLi Says:

    It’ll probs lead to sex! 😛 Nah, I am by nature a strong willed girl who hates ppl telling her what to do, there will be no pressuring. I mean physical urges can take over, but they’re not completely in control. If they were we’d still be animals.

  5. Marty Says:

    That’s nice that you consider yourself one of your friends (“I’m pretty much my only single friend.”)

  6. LuLi Says:

    I’m also my biggest fan!

  7. Domino Says:

    I wouldn’t have anything against sex on the first date. But I wouldn’t get pissy like that guy you mentioned if it didn’t happen. That’d kinda look a bit desperate.. He musn’t have had any in a long time to be so annoyed lol.

  8. LuLi Says:

    I dunno, maybe he’s just used to getting what he wants. It not an isolated case either, they pretty much all get a bit cut.

  9. Domino Says:

    Yeah maybe but even still.. it’s alright to be cut and all, who wouldn’t be you’ve just been rejected, but you don’t be all cut to the chick. This happened to a friend of mine the other day where she rejected someone and the guy acted like a little bitch. They should just man up and deal with it. If a guy acts like that the girl sure as hell isn’t gonna sleep with him now.

  10. Wendy Voltaire Says:

    OMG LuLi, I am your number one fan. That’s it, get me off your fan listing. Now.

    Okay, but seriously, I do agree that the whole “court who you’re going after” is dying. I hardly see it happen anymore. Rather than dating that particular someone to see if you’d let them get into bed with you, now it’s like as if the sex is the screening test. If they’re great in bed, then you’ve got a date! And I kind of miss it (I am old-fashioned like that).

    And I do hate the fact that kissing apparently means yes to sex. Going by your experiences, it seems these guys think they’re entitled or some shit. Smash ’em! Ha, and I thought it was being gay (women are complicated).

  11. Wendy Voltaire Says:

    Sorry, I mean, “And I thought it was hard being gay”.

  12. LuLi Says:

    Domino – Yeah to be honest it really puts me off. I wouldn’t wanna be with someone who had a sook over getting into bed when we’d just met. And I don’t even think of it as rejecting them, I’m just like nah man, not now, give me a break.

    Wendy – Please stay my number 1 fan! I thought I was the only one so I was default #1 lol.. I wish courting wasn’t dying, I just can’t jump into something like that so fast without knowing even if they’re the type to be a dick about it the next day! They really do think I owe them something, I’m getting so disheartened by the game 😦

  13. cosmicjester Says:

    It’s a jungle out there Luli. My first time clubbing after a coming out of a longgggggg term relationship was equal parts amusing and depressing, how people can be motivated to go out on the prowl every weekend is beyond me.

    Dare I say it, dating was so much easier in high school. Hope you find what you are looking for.

  14. LuLi Says:

    Yeah its terrible, you can’t go out on the prowl really. I just go out to have fun and if I meet someone cool then its a good night. Dating was simultaneously easier and harder in high school, coz although dating still *existed* you were still a teenager with dramas & annoyingness! lol

  15. SS Says:

    If I have enough respect for someone that I do want to date them, waiting for sex is totally acceptable. Of course I’ll still imagine it. But sex is only a secondary aspect of a relationship built to last.
    A slut ready to get down on some sex if you say the right things and smile is not hard to find. An highly compatible person for me, is.

    It’s hard but I try to transmute that sexual energy into channels that are more productive like spiritual growth.

    Ey also I’ve found that certain areas clearly have more superficial people in them. If you can find a small time community that hasn’t been hit so hard by the corruption a culture that smells like shit, or some kind of group or organization that caters specifically to the spiritually-minded population you probably have a better chance of meeting people that are more suitable. Duh.

  16. LuLi Says:

    I believe there are respectable guys out there, but it’s just hard to find them in the mind frame where they actually do want to take a chance on dating. They’re usually in the in-between stages, maybe they were burnt recently, or maybe sometimes dating is just way too much effort.

    Yeah it depends where you go, but douchebags are global 😛

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