Posts Tagged ‘animals’

In Relation To The Zoological Gardens

October 12, 2010


I don’t get it, the zoo is boring and its for kids who don’t know what giraffes look like yet. When I think of stuff to do with my boyfriend its not going to be to stand in front of a shit-filled paddock and try to make out the yaks. We’ll just go get drunk and make out in a paddock wearing yak fur hats. Well, not really but you know what I’m getting at.

Two separate couples zoo photo excursions have popped up in my newsfeed this week alone. It is only Tuesday. Allah knows how many zoo albums I would find if I scoured my friends list. A part of me wants to do it to prove a point. That freak scares me and I won’t let her stalk her way through peoples personal memory jpegs, scoffing at their couple happiness and laughing at their awkward attempts at kissing photos.

Why the zoo? What is it about imprisoned animals displayed for your amusement that gets those love beads jingling? It smells weird, the food is overpriced and you never get to see the lions because they’re always asleep and I for one don’t even believe they’re in there. C’MON I JUST WANT TO KNOW! The monkeys aren’t that amusing.

Also I know I said I was on a break, but it’s always the times I tell myself not to write that I want to the most. And the times when I desperately want to update that I’m overcome with writers block.

So anyway, what do you think? Did you take your boyfriend or girlfriend to the zoo? Did you take pictures of yourselves kissing in front of the butterfly house and upload them to facebook? What is the philosophy behind this phenomena? Where did it originate? Is it part of some secret couples only step by step guide to consolidating a relationship distributed when you file your application for a fb romance?

Step  1. Facebook official.

Step 2. Profile pic couple shot.

Step 3. Zoo excursion (and resulting photoshoot uploaded to your social network).

Step 4. Gooey love heart statuses.

Step 5. ???????

Step 6. Profit!!!


When Animals Are Animals..

May 4, 2009

A friend of my sisters work mate had a pet snake that she’d owned for years and years. It was a python and she loved it, every night it would curl up on her feet and sleep, warming her on cold evenings. Then out of nowhere the snake stopped eating and wouldn’t sleep on her feet, it would just stretch out beside her as far as it could go. Puzzled, she took him to the vet to see if he was sick. “You’re snake isn’t sick,” the vet told her. “He’s planning to eat you, so he’s stretching out to see if you can fit and not eating to make enough room for you in its body.”


What the fuck! How scary and crazy is that? She had to have it destroyed, as you would, but man.. Imagine the pet you thought loved you was quietly planning your murder! I still can’t get over it, I’ve been thinking about it constantly ever since. If she didn’t take him to the vet, she woulda been strangled and eaten.

I suppose it goes to show that even the animals we care for and create bonds with are still just animals at the end of the day. They follow their instincts. Or perhaps its because it was a reptile, not a mammal. You can’t really domesticate a snake I guess. They’re cold blooded, and predators, we have almost nothing in common for them to bond with us.

Monkeys are very close to our species, but we can’t really keep them as pets because they’re too smart for us. They can problem solve and coreograph scenarios, not to mention are scary as fuck! I’ve never understood why people would want to have them as pets, they’re so strong and have huge teeth and beady black eyes.. What about when those pet ones jumped that guy and ripped off parts of his body when he went in to feed them one day? He’d had them for ages then they suddenly just turned on him. It makes me rethink even having a cat!


Then you hear and watch stories like Christian the lion, who was raised by a couple who freed him when he was old enough, and recognised and hugged them when they found him years later in the wild. He was just as savage as the lions in the pride he was the leader of, yet he reverted back to his domesticated state when they reappeared in his life.

Heres another nicer story, with no humans involved:

Well anyway, I’ve moved into my dads place for a while so I don’t have to worry about whether Pooky is planning my demise, but still its food for thought. Anybody else got some crazy animal stories to share?

Mon Petite` Meow & The Prince Of Orange

September 24, 2008

Pooky don’t know if want.

Since its such a beautiful day outside, I’ve spent a while out in the front yard, watching my cats frolic in the garden and I thought it would be a good time for a cat tribute. I’ve already asked Domino to do the same, and if anyone else feels like showing us some of their pets over at their blogs then go right ahead. It can be an impromptu meme, if you like! They bring us too much joy, it would be wrong not to give them a shout out every now and then.

My story begins on a dark and stormy night, it was about 3am, and me and my best friend at the time were driving around in my car eating junk food. We often went for late night cruises out of boredom. Suddenly, I spot a log on the road, so I swerve it and it moves! We scream as we feel the car bump over something and realise it was a cat. In a panic, we turn around and stop the car to look for it, but alas, it was nowhere to be found. I hated cats back then, so I was like ‘Oh well, what can you do?’ and we left.

Crown Prince Of Orange

A few months later we were at my same friends work and one of her co-workers had a kitten he was giving away. She couldn’t take it as her parents were strict so I said I’d take it off her hands while we found him a home. The poor thing had been left on a box on the guys porch in Deer Park (which to my knowledge has some kind of fox infestation) and during the night the foxes had eaten the mum and the rest of the babies and left this poor kitten to cry into the lonely darkness, knee deep in their blood.

Curiously, as I raised this defiant and haughty little beast, I began to find myself feeling protective of him, and defending him against my family when they screamed for him to be out of our house. He wasn’t properly toilet trained and would leave presents for us to find and it drove my mother crazy, who already hated cats with a passion. I remember when I started uni again and couldn’t avoid leaving him home without me he got cut and left a few presents on my bed. He was a snobby kitten, but he could be so loving when the mood struck him, and he followed me around meowing after me. Suddenly.. I was in love. We named him Cattie, after his cat-like qualities.

I are DuneCattie, I controls the spice.

But I had to give him up, so one day I bundled him up and took him to the Boi’s house, who told me he would take care of him. Cattie and I cried the whole way, me from devestation, Cattie from fear of this moving room he as trapped in. But it had to be done. Three days later the Boi calls me and says, “Luli, I can’t handle this fucking cat! You have to take it home!” I was ecstatic with joy, and I hid him behind my handbag as I walked up the path to the front door. But my mum, the spy of all spies, had already seen him and yelled “Luliiiiiiii!” as I walked through the door and grabbed him out of my hands. I start to protest to defend him, but then she started kissing his head and patting his fur. She had missed him! After that he was a permanent visa holder in our house.

My beloved Russian Blue kitten was actually my mums idea to get. He was born on the 18th of December, like Brad Pitt, and we got him when he was 8 weeks old. It was during my uni holidays again, so I took the position of primary caretaker. From the moment the tiny thing saw Cattie, they were rivals. The kitten skitzed up and went psycho at Cattie when he tried to sniff him out, and we were stunned by his courage and feistyness. As he grew he became almost completely dependent on me, following me everywhere, eating when I told him to, sleeping on my tummy. And he was so loving, I couldn’t believe it, all he wanted to do was climb onto my chest and give me kisses. He even tried to stroke my face with his paws.

Mon Petite` Meow

He had a split personality. On one side there was Pooky (aka The Pook, aka Chim Chim, aka Pook-e-mon) who was affectionate and cute, and on the other side there was Charizard, this psycho scratch machine who climbed the curtains, or the wall unit, or anything tall, and chased Cattie (aka the Prince of Orange), who is at least 4 times his size, around the room. He also loved to lurk in the shadows and wait till someone walked past and jump them. Mum wanted him out of the house, he left us even more presents than Cattie had. I couldn’t believe it. She let me fall in love and then wanted to drop him off at a centre that would most certainly kill him after a few weeks. I wasn’t having it, and we had the most savage fights we’d had since I was a teenager about it.

Eventually the Tsar calmed down a bit, and got even more lovable so we never had to get rid of him. Till now he is obedient to no-one but me, he comes whenever I call him, no matter how far away he is, he follows me from room to room even if he sits on the other side, just to be around me. He scratches everyone but me, and I’m the only one who can change him back to the Pook when he’s in Charizard mode.

Charizard, bat-dragon Tsar of evil.

But I always get scared about Karma, and wonder when it will strike me. I took away someone’s Cattie or Pooky on that night. It would be the perfect revenge to make me, a cat hater, fall in love with a cat or two and then have them be run over. Everytime I enter my street I slow down to 5km just to make sure.. But I know one day I’m going to have to pay the price.

Also, I talk to them in lolspeak.. Does anyone else do that?