Posts Tagged ‘computer’

Its Gone Forever

December 12, 2008


I’m devestated. I’m typing through my tears. I went to go get my lappy fixed today and the tech told me I was better off buying a new one. Thats fine, I said, but can you get my hard drive off of there so I can get the documents and stuff? Sure, thats easy, he said, no problem. I was ecstatic, and the guy immediately got a hundred times more attractive in my eyes, even though he was at least 45, but I was just so happy. He sat with me for an hour and let me watch him extract all my stuff and put it on a external hard drive, and then only charged me the price for the drive itself.

But I got home and realised this stuff was from my old ‘My Documents’ that I’d salvaged from my last hard drive meltdown and not the current ‘My Documents’ that all my real shit was stored on. All my pictures are lost. All my writing. And all because I was stupid enough to put a password on my profile. You fucking idiot. I will never do that again. Oh my god I was so happy a few seconds ago, and then when I just realised the stuff I really wanted was inaccessible it shattered me. I had like 4-5 years of my life on there. Msn logs from the time I was 16. Pictures of friends and family. All the anime I’d been collecting my whole life, images I will never see again, never be able to use. Every piece of writing I’d ever written, ALL OF IT!!


If lappy’s were empires, then I’d built Rome. And now its all burnt down to nothing! How can I start again? How will I find all the shit that took me years to come across? How will I remember all the sentimental shit that was on there, all my memories, my whole previous life is gone.. I can picture the files in my head, thats the saddest thing. I can see my documents and remember flicking through the pictures, image by image. I can see where my pics of my ex boyfriends are, and I know I said I was over The Boi, but all my pics of him were from my digital camera, they were jpegs, they were in my docs folder, they’re gone forever! What if I forget his face? The most important man in my life and I don’t even have one freaking photo printed out! I’m not going to run into him, he’s gone back to Syd.

Why has fate wiped my life clean? Doesn’t it understand that I live my life around my memories? I need records because my brain can never remember, thats why I have all the diaries and this blog. I’m never going to see his face again. I was prepared to be over him if I could at least look back and remember the good times. I could handle not speaking to him if I could still read back over the old memories, the times when we were good. Life wants me to forget him. I really have to move forward now, theres no other choice. I have nothing left.

It shatters me.


All I Want For Xmas Is…

December 9, 2008


Its time for one of my favourite blog activities, the elusive and informative meme, passed on through generations of friends and always showing up at exactly the right moment! TDW both invented and challenged me to this one, and I think we all know that I was taking up the meme whether he formally asked to or not, so its irrelevant if I was specifically propositioned. I don’t need to be, I live this shit yo! Meme’s are my love! (No, he didn’t ask me, of course I took it upon myself, true to Luli form).

Regardless, I do actually want to see what you mofos have been wishing for all year, so consider this your very own invitation. That means you Marty, Gully, Domino, Wendy, Den, J, Insanity540, Kezza (perhaps with a santa hat photoshoot?), Andy if your holiday down here is boring you, Ray, Wah, Bron, Rayedish, Reuben (your very own tram service maybe?) and any other lurkers hiding in the darkness, reading me with hatred and venomous spite!

So my friends, feel free to get me any of these things:


My old laptop back with all the best upgrades money can buy. I had a mouse that was a round little ball thing in the middle of the keyboard and it was the best thing I’ve ever used. I can’t work these fancy touchpad things, they freak me out and the pressure points are all off. Plus I’m a pro with the red ball thing, I can draw the most amazing MS paint cartoons freehand! Also, the keyboard needed a bit of a clean, I coulda done with about 2000 more gig, something to make it work faster, louder speakers, a built in radio modem router thingy, unlimited broadband in the true meaning of the term and some kind of sparkly sticker decor to spice it up a little.

An interesting and hot car that is rare to come across. Preferrably in a crazy bright color, like a hot pink rx7 s6, or a kingfisher blue hotted up old valiant. Something that you would look at and think ‘Thats so crazy, it just might work!’ but be too afraid to drive yourself. I’m no car expert, so feel free to brainstorm and think of something better. Don’t worry, I can drive manual. If it was booked in for a ritual cleaning with a professional, that would be awesome too. Personalised plates are a no thanks, you keep em.


A genuine gyaru girl for my own personal stylist, hair and make up artist. Imagine waking up every day to find Xiaoyu has already laid out several choices of what you might wear today, completely accessorised and correlated to the weather, current (Shibuya) trends and your own personal tastes. Never again would I have to feel the panic of standing before my wardrobe 20mins before my train departs with no idea of what to wear. Plus having someone to fix my mane and apply my mascara for me would be heaven. Ahh celebrities are so lucky.

A long, detailed, private reading with a tarot expert who has honed their intuitive abilities. What can I say, I buy into all of that shit. I take my horoscopes to heart and they come true for me. I get back the karma I put out, I believe in fate and I read for myself. But it would be awesome to have someone profesh actually read for me for once. I would hang on their every word and even though it might be wrong, I’d enjoy every single minute of it. Call me a fool if you will, at least I am a happy one!


My little Indian model sister and my good natured philosophical father home for Christmas dinner. I miss their heads. They are truly independent and free spirited, but I know they are both dealing with upsetting issues right now. Little model is trying to pretend her man didn’t cheat on her only 4weeks after her 6mth mth long departure and Daddy-O has lost his hard earnt job security for the first time in his life due to the financial atmosphere. They left with their lives concrete and certain, and are now on unsure and shaky grounds. And well, you all know my sentimental face. I miss em.

So thats about it, thats all I need. Those things would make me oh so happy, way more than money or fame or silly little emotions like love. Or world peace, pffft! This is the consumerist Luli talking, take your peace loving hippie shit back to your lefty, altruistic, well written blogs! Christmas isn’t about some kind of global goodwill, its about buying apple products for the majestic approval of the first hipster, the bearded, elitist (convert or you out baby!), sandal and kuffiyeh scarf wearing, anti-authoritarian, wine connoisseur and jobless mofo, Jesus Hail Mary himself.

Merry X-Mas everyone!