Posts Tagged ‘lies’

You Ain’t Never Seen A Fire Like The One Ima Cause!

December 28, 2009

“I know she was attractive, but I was here first

Been riding with you for six years

Why did I deserve to be treated this way by you?

I know you’re probably thinking

What’s up with B?

I been crying for too long, what did you do to me?

I used to be so strong..”

Wow, I’ve gotten some really lovely comments in the past few days. I’m going to reply to all of them, as is my usual protocol, but I’d like to say thanks to those individuals first up! A couple weeks ago I had a few hater replies that I moved straight to the trash and it really put me off the blog. I’m not usually that sensitive, especially with haters, but you know how these things are. If you’re not expecting it, you don’t react well.

On Christmas Eve I found out the guy I’ve been seeing for the last two months has been hitting up and seeing his ex girlfriend on the sly. I can’t even express to you the rage I’m feeling towards him at the moment. I don’t want to put up some crazy facebook status, but on the other hand I want him to know that I think he’s a dog and for everyone else to know too! I won’t because I keep my dating life away from there, but goddammit, I’m just that pissed I might do something irrational. Argh!

I’m pretty sure he knows that I know, and the chicken shit is laying low to avoid the wrath. I know that its all like, don’t worry he doesn’t deserve me if he’s a lowie like that, blah blah, but I’m seething. How many times does this situation have to occur to me? And what kills me is that there were so many signs I ignored naively, thinking he would never have some drowned rat waiting in the wings. The worst part is the feeling of inadequacy that comes along with it, something I’d already worked through before, I’d gotten past it. But now it’s here again in the back of my mind, gnawing away.

“I tried and I tried to forget this

I’m much too full of resentment

I’ll always remember feeling

Like I was no good

Like I couldn’t do it for you

Like your mistress could

And it’s all because you lied!”

There’s a part of me that wants to scream and rage and cause a massive scene, but the other part is saying ‘don’t stoop to that level, be above it, pretend you are unaffected..’ But then, it’s like he’s getting away with it. Except he won’t, because I know he’s going to come crawling back and that’s when I can be cold. This is really a kick in the teeth to my ego, you know? It’s all about the ego in the end. How dare HE do this to ME? Doesn’t he know who I AM?? I have to stop thinking in those terms, because it only breeds unhappiness. It’s as simple as: he fucked up, I go. That’s all it has to come down to.

It was only two months together, it’s not like we were meant to be. I can’t even hate him for it. I feel a bit possessive, thinking of her touching him or them laughing together, but I guess she had the prior claim being the ex, right? Fucking bitch.. Sigh, I’m sorry. But I can understand exactly why so many girls want to blast the chick even when they may not have known he was taken. It’s half jealousy, half intimidation. In the end though it was his choice, his betrayal. I know that. I’ll leave her out of this.

I should have known the moment he started getting possessive and suspicious of me. Cheaters always think their partner is as susceptible to that behaviour as they are. They accuse you first, they get jealous and delusional. Match that with the little hints his mates girlfriends were throwing at me and his sudden need to hide where he was or what he was doing and you pretty much have the conclusion staring you in the face. But I was too blind to see it.

“Tell me how should I feel

When I know what I know

And my female intuition tellin me you a dog

People told me bout the flames

I couldn’t see through the smoke

When I need answers – accusations!

What you mean you gon’ choke?

Oh you can’t stay you gotta go

Ain’t no other chick spendin your dough!

Ima put in a call, tell them ring the alarm

Coz you ain’t never seen a fire like the one ima cause!”

I’m cool, yo. Forget about it. Just another story for the archives ey? I’m going to be fine in like a week or something. For revenge I can go out on New Years and pick up whoever I want. It will be good rehab for the battered ego I’m nursing. To be honest I probably wouldn’t have even been that affected if I hadn’t found out and then immediately had to spend a major holiday with happy couples and families. That’s just asking for the sads. Karma, this shit is stacking up hard.. You owe me big time!

Ciao, my pretties. Happy New Years if I don’t post before then! 😀


What Really Goes On At A Bucks?

September 9, 2008

“I know you wanna get laid tonight

But I’m trying to get paid tonight

We ain’t even gotta fuss and fight

Just hit me right, its on all night

I know you wanna get in bed with me

But you’ve gotta come correctly

Nothing in life is free, especially not me..”

The alleged rape of the best man by the stripper at a bucks party is currently headlining on The Age website. As far as I can tell, it’s his word against hers and it’s pretty doubtful that we’re ever going to get the full story. She alleges he pushed back into her while she was playing around with a sex toy, and that it was an accident. She also says the men were using speed and cocaine and were offering it to her.

The best man apparently punched her in the back of the head but he denies it and all the guys at the party back up his story. Which is to be expected. They say the rape went on for about one second. I’m not sure why this is important, one second of rape is obviously going to be just as traumatic as sixty.

I’m not really going to comment on it, it seems fucked up all around, which is fitting for a bucks party. I thought strippers didn’t touch guys? But then, that makes me think of the other secret I’ve been told, about the secret men’s rule of bucks parties.

Apparently ladies, all men cheat on their buck’s night, and there is a secret code of honour amongst men not to tell anyone about it, so that on their own bucks night nobody tells on them either. The men who told me about this were adamant that it was true, that even my dear brother would have done the dirty before he married my sister in law last year. And of course any guy I have spoken to after has denied it as false, which just seems to fit perfectly with their code.

Everybody knows that a bucks night is a way for all the friends of the buck to have their final chance at stopping the wedding, and preventing their friend being lost to them through marriage. Back in the day, the end result of a bucks was to leave the buck tied up somewhere, miles away from where the wedding would take place, possibly covered in fish oil and shaving cream.

These days it seems to have taken more of a sexual deviant road, a stripper is mandatory, as with crazy drunkenness. And at my older brothers own bucks night, my little brother had some kind of crazy experience with the stripper, that no one will comment on that’s driving me mad! I really want to know what went on, especially considering he was only sixteen.. But this goddamn code of men’s buck night silence shit is seemingly impenetrable (nice choice of words eh?) and quite frankly I’m also kinda scared to know. I do want to be able to look him in the face without blushing.

“I’m in love with a stripper

She poppin, she rollin, she rollin

She climbin that pole and

I’m in love with a stripper

She trippin, she playin, she playin

I’m not goin nowhere girl I’m stayin..”

Do strippers, in your experience, ever cross the line with the no touching rule? Or the no sexual favours rule? Or whatever rules they have, have you witnessed anything you thought to be a little bit crazy at a private viewing in a home, or at a party? I was under the impression that there was no touching apart from a little bit of caressing and so forth, although I do remember as a young girl when a stripper came to a party next door, and the kids were locked up inside, that one man came out with some lipstick on the crotch of his jeans.

So, I want to know.. What secret stuff goes on at a bucks night? Does the buck always or *ever* have sex with another woman, as I was told? I don’t want reassurance here, I want brutal honesty! Comment under an alias or be anonymous if you wish, this is your one chance to break the code without fear of reprisal.