Posts Tagged ‘marriage’

I Like It, So I Put A Ring On It

July 21, 2009

“I need diamonds and rubies

I’m crazy bout Bentley’s

Gucci dresses and drop top compressors

Wine me and dine me

Bring those platinum rings

Those are a few of my favourite things!”

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I always find unexpected bitchiness to be amusing, but this morning’s episode has tickled me more than usual, because not only is it nice and spiteful but it’s also something that’s been on my mind too. 

So I sat on the train with my sister and a guy from my bros band and we were chatting about stupid things as is our nature, all the while completely unaware of being picked apart by the girls sitting horizontally adjacent to us. I’m always oblivious to this kind of thing, I’m too self absorbed and I don’t see anyone until they are directly in my line of view (this annoys my friends all the time, I unintentionally snob everyone). But the band guy told me what they were saying.

“There’s no way she’s married.. Is she?” *points to my obscenely fake costume jewellery ring on my ‘marriage finger’*

“As if.. I think some girls just wear a ring there, they don’t seem to care.”

*eyebrow raise and pointed look of disdain in my direction*

I like the insinuation that I’m too *something* to be married and MUST be single (unattractive? skanky? young? annoying? curly?!), but mostly I’m amused by their annoyance at my apparent lack of respect for marriage and its sacred traditions. Not only did my ring wearing warrant comment and subsequent dismissal of my ‘fake’ taken status, but it also produced displeased facial expressions in my general direction. Win. My trolling has escalated to a level that even transcends speech (Although to be honest, our inane conversations about gang signs and putting ooze on the big broken ferris wheel thingy so it comes to life and rolls down Swanston street ala Ghostbusters2 could have provoked the mockery [and I couldn’t blame em really, ps. what song would you use to ‘awaken’ it?])!

I think I just won the award for worst use of punctuation in one sentence. Bear with me, I plan to make sense soon. Also, yes the ring looked very fake but why was it that I’m clearly single and not its insane hugeness that broke the deal? Kudos for the extra snarkiness in that reasoning!

This isn’t the first time someone has commented on my wearing of a ring on that finger. Last time it was the same finger, opposite hand because that means you’re engaged, right? I don’t even know, the whole thing confuses me. To make things worse, my mum’s side of the fam once bought me what I found out later was a Russian Wedding Band, which is one of my favourites to wear because it’s so unusual (3 thick yellow gold bands criss crossed) and must sweeten the fake marriage deal even more.

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“Coz you’re my diamond girl

You’re the one I put the rock on

You’re my diamond girl

You’re the reason I quit the game for

Can’t explain just how much you shine

Give me your heart, I’ll give you mine..”

I am clearly a superstitious woman, I read horoscopes obsessively and have lucky underwear, but I do not for a minute believe the notion that wearing a ring on those fingers will mean I have bad luck in love for life (please ignore my track record). That’s just ridiculous. For one, karma owes me big time and I’m expecting a massive payout in that department, but also, why should something like that override my actual good deeds and what not? Is my tangible influence on karmic retribution confined to my accessory related faux pas? I think not.

Those fingers are by far my favourite to adorn, because rings look the best there. That’s why they picked them in the first place. I’m not waiting till I’m engaged because if I did that then I’d probably never get to wear em! And some of my fav rings only fit those two fingers. I also don’t believe a guy would be dissuaded in approaching me because of it. If he really thought I was cool he would at least ask, right?

Or am I completely wrong and somehow sending married/engaged vibes to eligible suitors? Would you talk to someone who wore a ring there? And If I put ooze on the ring and played Mariah Carey to it do you think it would resuscitate my love life? Answers nao plz!!

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“I remember once upon a time when I

Would never ever do anything to hurt you

But tonight I’m gonna..

Ima take this ring off, take this ring off my finger

Take this ring off, take this ring off my left hand

Get my thing on, get my thing on the way I do

Thats what ima do, thats what ima do, thats what ima do..

Don’t tell nobody!”

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Everlasting

March 26, 2009

“The place we used to be is still a part of me

And I’m so fortunate lady that you still need a piece of me

And I know that you’re waiting, see I’m only down town

You know I roll alone girl, I’m never with a crowd..

Take me back to the day when you made me fall

I want to go, I want to go

Make me feel like you did the very first time we ever touched

I want to go, lets just go..”

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I went to stay at my great-grandmothers place these holidays, and while she passed away when I was five and the house has been renovated since, it still has her feel and her essence. You can’t escape it. Maybe it comes from knowing her, knowing what kind of woman she was and how caring and selfless she was. But how can you really know what kind of person someone is when you’re five? I knew she was loving and kind, and thats all I needed.

One of the first things we did was walk around and check everything out, see what we remembered and what was new. Touch and prod and feel and try on. Her mink coat was gone, a tribute to her classic style. She was pearls and 1940’s curls, designer chic for dinner and nautical colors as she relaxed around the house. We stared at a glamour pic of her from her youth, she must have been early twenties. “You look like her, ” my sister said. And I was surprised to find I agreed with her. We have dark hair and the same nose. I felt like family for once.

One thing really struck a chord with me as I sat down in her old torn recliner and looked at the room from a perspective she must have, day in and out, for decades. I could see the tv in front of me, to the left was the window with a view to the garden of the front yard, and to the right was a portrait of her husband who died a long time before she did. She must have looked into his eyes everyday and missed him.

“Sure as all that breathe will die

And showers fall from April skies

A heart thats pure won’t be denied

The kind of loving that will rock you

The kind of loving that will keep you

Hold you for a lifetime

Even in the hard times, even when its going down..

You’re gonna find someone’s riding with you

You don’t have to be alone, you just have to hold on

You’re gonna find true love..”

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What happened to the love from back then? The one that lasted forever, long after your husband has gone. The one that left you believing you’d be with him one day soon, that he was waiting for you.. These days it seems like marriage lasts 7 years, and love lasts even less. How is it that our grandparents marriages last forever, but everyone else is divorcing? Theres some element they have, that we don’t. What is it?

Maybe its because we don’t truly appreciate the other when they are with us, what they do for us, or that it takes effort every single day to make things work. Maybe its because we’re so trained by consumerism to never be satisfied, to always want more or be looking for something better, an upgrade.. Why do people leave each other, when others can make it work forever? We raise our kids in the era of divorce, it feels like every kid has gone or will go through it. And with that kind of backdrop, how can we expect them to believe in a love that lasts more than a few years? Its no wonder everyone is always breaking up.

But when I sat in her chair it wasn’t hard for me to imagine getting a portrait of my own husband, and of days spent there warmed by the suns rays and our own affections. I hadn’t even considered marriage before that, aside from maybe eloping in Las Vegas or something equally as vague. I’d definitely never thought about the part after. But now its a big question in the back of my mind.. What has happened to everlasting love?

“When I think about it

I know that I was never there

Or even cared

The more I think about it

The less that I was able to share

With you

I try to reach you I

Can almost feel you, you’re nearly here

And then you disappear..”

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