It’s Only Cool When We Nuke You

Vice President Joe Biden has taken it upon himself to approve the go ahead of an Israeli nuclear strike on Iran, stating “If the Netanyahu Government decides to take a course of action different than the one being pursued now, that is their sovereign right to do that.” He went on to add that the US would not stand in their way. Of course, Israeli officials have welcomed these comments.

Does anyone else see the hypocrisy in this? Nuke Iran for having nukes. Why can’t Israel nuke itself for having nukes? Why Iran and not North Korea? They’ve been actually using theirs aggressively, obviously in some sort of warning or threat to the Western nations they oppose.

How can a nuclear strike ever be a solution to this problem? Yes, Iran is in a volatile state of unrest, civillians revolting against a corrupt government who believe they are acting on the behalf of the Islamic world and lashing out against foreign interference. But nuking Iran would not change the way things are run, or who is in charge. It would kill thousands of innocent people and exacerbate the feeling of hatred against the US & Israel, possibly extended to the rest of the Western world.

As former chair of the Foreign Relations Committee, Biden must know this. ‘Relations’ implies relationship, no? A diplomatic dialogue. The only dialogue here is once again between Israel and the US on behalf of the world, without consulting anyone! I can see how Israel would love to see a war against Iran (which would surely be the outcome once the dust has settled), they are their most fierce opponent at present.

If they want a war so badly, why not invade Zimbabwe or do something about Darfur? Or even China? It seems horribly unfair to allow Israel to nuke Iran, when Israel won’t even agree to Obama (and the rest of the world’s) request that a two party state be established for the people of Palestine. I mean, aren’t they committing the same crime? Oppression of the people and so forth.

This is an unacceptable and inappropriate attitude to have as a Vice President, especially with the current political climate. I can’t get past the idea of nukes being fine in Israel or the US, but when it comes to anyone else, its all over. Blah!

Goodnight Sweet Prince

“No, If the angels took me from this earth

I would tell them bring me back to her

It’s a chance I’ll take

Maybe I’ll stay

Heaven can wait..”

MJ..

I can’t believe it. I loved that crazy bastard so much, I think I spent more time debating over his court cases than even listening to his songs. Well that’s probs a lie, but still.. I feel so sorry for his kids.

Some of my best memories were accompanied by MJ songs. My old best friend and I could only agree on listening to him together, we hated each other’s music. Nothing can cheer you up like hearing MJ at a club, watching him dance was awe inspiring, his music was amazing.

He will always be a legend.

R.I.P. Michael Joseph Jackson (August 29, 1958 – June 25, 2009)

You’re Holding Up Traffic, Green Means Go!

“I wish I had a dime for every

Time they warned me about you

I wish I could erase the very

Thought of what you put me through

And you try and make it all seem

Like I should lay down while you’re walkin on me..”

I just remembered this and had to share it. I once dated a guy for a few weeks, he used to come chill at my place all the time, and he was one of those funny ‘charming’ guys who flirt with your mother and talk to your family like he’s known them for years. I used to find it amusing, especially when he finally met my dad, who saw right through the act and gave him the hard ass routine which was uncomfortable at the time but now makes me snicker. Anyway this guy was like ‘I want to be in with your mum’, within a few days of meeting her and all I could think was ‘Umm, but you’re not ‘in’ with me yet?’

So my mums friend is over and it turns out both he and my mums friends daughter are applying for a job with the same company, except he’s been through the whole process and she’s just beginning it. So for like three hours I sit there, bored out of my mind, while he walks the mum through the applications and what to do in the interviews, and they make plans to meet up again for him to help, whatever. I ONLY just remembered this, I block shit out you see, but sometimes it comes floating back.

He went over to her house and SLEPT WITH her daughter, and I never found out until later, but it was shortly after this application help thing. We kinda faded out at that stage anyway, but I didn’t know why at the time. I wasn’t that offended, I didn’t like him enough yet, but still.. What a fuckhead. And the daughter, I used to be friends with her when we were young, we still say hello on the street. It never even crossed my mind that she slept with a guy I was dating! I still see her till now and of course this is why she acts weird. I didn’t put two and two together.

“Ain’t no problem you can go

I will find somebody else

So why not move along?

You got the green light so you can go!

I gave all I could give

My love, my heart

Now we’re facing the end for what you did

From the start, my love..”

Another boyfriend went ‘missing’ for a month and then calls me back after like nothing had happened. I was like ‘Are you serious? I’m seeing someone else now.’ But I should have seen it coming, he was always very selfish. Once I went to his house, and this may sound stupid, but to me it defines his character. Anyway so he makes me a cup of tea and himself a coffee, and he’s in the kitchen so he comes back out to the lounge carrying a cup and I automatically reach for it. But he’s like ‘No, thats mine,’ takes a sip and puts it down in front of where he was sitting.

WHO DOES THAT? Brings out his own first! Common courtesy and proper manners is that you bring your guests cup to them, then you go get your own. Not only that, but it makes more sense, because your guest can sip from theirs while they are sitting waiting for you to get the other cup. Maybe I’m overreacting, but I make a lot of tea and coffee, and I love having guests over, and there will never be a day that I hand myself anything before I have made sure my guest has had theirs first. Especially on a date! Man, for the rest of the relationship I couldn’t stop thinking about it, that one silly gesture. I didn’t let it sour anything, coz I knew he really liked me, but it just irked me that it happened.

Another boyfriend, before we first got together, told me he liked me and then told me he was confused because he thought he sort of liked his ex as well. I was fuming, partially because he divulged this right after he’d confirmed that I liked him too, and partially because I hate when girls compete for men and he was trying to make me do it! I can’t stand it, every time I find out there is another chick in the picture, I bail. So I told him that I was taking it back, I didn’t like him, he could go be with that girl and we would be friends, nothing more.

“So what I’m trying to say

I know whats happening

Your body’s here with me

But your heart and your mind is still with her

Go back to what you know

Go back to where you know your heart is boy

Just be honest, this is impossible

This is impossible! We’ll never work coz you don’t want it

You belong with her so go back to what you know..”

Well, I never saw someone change his mind so fast. He called me back and apologised, but by then I was too cut. I wasn’t going to get with a guy who five minutes ago wasn’t even sure if he liked me more than his ex! (Please excuse the politics, I was a teenager so you could imagine the dramas involved) We sorted it out eventually, he called her and told her whatever and it was going good for a while. Then I lost my phone for about 5 days. He doesn’t call the house phone and he went to a dif school so I couldn’t contact him. I get my phone back or buy a new one or something, and call him and he tells me he’s back with his ex-gf! Blah. I think that was my first heartbreak.. I was about 16.

I have a million stories like this, I think I may be extra awesome at finding assholes to date.. What a talent. At least I can laugh at them now. Anyone else have any bad dating stories they’d like to share?

All Paths Lead To Psychos

“I live my life in chains, got my hands in chains

And I can’t stick with the cards

That I got with a deal like this

I must insist that a girl’s got more to do

Than be the way you think a woman should

I’m taking it into my own hands

In this mans land I can understand why I’m taking command

Had enough, of stuff, and now its time to think about me..”

So as we know I’m pretty into the whole divination, astrology thing. My mother suggested the other day that we go to this mind body soul festival on the weekend and I was fairly intrigued. I imagined myself strolling along the stalls, forcing gypsies to read my hand and making insightful comments that showed my immense tarotian skills during presentations. And mostly, I pictured the wealth of information that would be at my fingertips. People willing to explore and explain the meaning of their chosen field, perhaps some kind of alchemy table where I could crush wolfsbane and make a potent hand cream, or a philosophical debate of sorts between the wiccans and the scientologists.

Well the only bit I got right was the scientologists. And frankly, what the hell are they doing there, aren’t they illegal yet? Oh there were stalls alright, all selling over priced “magical” crystal jewellery and highly questionable “artifacts”. Not to mention the readers, who all came for the low low price of no discount. Honestly, you’re sitting on a plastic chair with a little velvet table cloth thing, if I gave you a minifridge it would look like your caravan back in the park, do I really need to pay 50bucks for a palm reading?

And the place was almost silent, like a library with no children’s section.. I could hear everything everyone was saying. There was no chance of me subtly asking what I wanted to know without the whole room listening in. And they were trying pretty hard! There was only like 20 other people there besides me and my mum, and we must of looked slightly out of place because everyone was watching us shuffle uncomfortably through the maze of enchanted earrings with curious eyes.

Is this the scene? Really? I’m starting to re-think my ties to this community. I didn’t trust a thing anyone said about anything, nothing was authentic in my eyes. I heard a guy say that a normal looking book on psychic phenomena had “great powers of protection”.. get the fuck outta here! Everything came with a fee. Even the brochure to the tarot guild of Australia, which I very much wanted to join (just to be able to tell my little bro I’d joined a guild.. heh oblivion), directed me to a website which asked for a $165 annual membership fee. I mean come on, they have like 3 stupid meetings every equinox (which you also pay a fee at) and its probably the same idiots I saw in the room, and they’d probably act all elitist on me coz I’m so young and amateur.

Plus they’re sposed to be all enlightened, whats with the materialism? I thought knowledge was supposed to be free, scientology fits in fine among em at least. Goddamn hippies. I just want to meet a group of down to earth people, who can explain to me about what I want to know, without any over the top crazy talk about auras or magical unicorn rides through the Elysian planes. I’m sick of books, they take ages to read and I have to go slow to pick up the concepts, and I don’t know where to begin because there’s so many different directions and topics.

“Far away.. This ship is taking me far away

Far away from the memories

Of the people who care if I live or die

Starlight.. I will be chasing the starlight

Until the end of my life

I don’t know if its worth it anymore..”

There was this guy there though, he was in my class at school but once he became openly gay and wiccan everybody made fun of him and I think he left. I was always nice to him though and I ran into him the other day at Charcoal Chicken (which has dropped the quality of its gravied chips, let me tell you) and we had an awkward but fairly pleasant conversation about what we’d been up to. Except when I saw him at his stall he got embarrassed and looked the other way. Considering his reaction, would it be psycho to chase him up for a lead? I know where he works.

I wouldn’t be a journo if I didn’t do some groundwork ey?

Does Facebook Breed Unhappiness?

Its Sleep Month, my darlings. That means no work for a month, and time to re-energise my brain with books and movies and ideologies. So far, so good, I’ve pretty much regained my olden time sleeping habits of bed at 5-6am and waking up 2pm! I know my body was built for being a creature of the night, how else can you explain its stubbornness in sleeping during the sunlight hours?

As for the brain activity, its comforting to know that it still works and seeks knowledge when it gets to live outside of the 9-5 hours. I am now expanding my quest to anything and everything interesting, within reason. So book, movie and philosophy strain recommendations are all welcome! For the record I am currently half-way through five books, Brida – Paulo Coelho, The Art Of Happiness – Dalai Lama & Howard Cutter, Awareness – De Mello, Tarot Wisdom – Rachel Pollack and Men & Women – Kevin Childs.

I’ve been thinking about Facebook and why its detrimental to the self. I think Twitter and Myspace also apply, Friendster if its still in use, and all those other profile page type websites (blogs too?). If my research is correct (its usually not) then happiness is a state of mind that can only be obtained from within, without reliance on any outer source. I’m blending De Mello with the Dalai here, so bear with me, but we’re trying to be content with what we have, and that satisfaction raises our general state of ‘meh’ to one of ‘life’s pretty cool yo’.

(I’m going to digress for a second, I did an assignment for web journalism the other day on the everlasting love thing I blogged about in March, and my lecturer critiqued my writing as sometimes sounding ‘too academic’! What the damn fuck? Me! The most inarticulate, swearing, personal story blogger of the seven ISP’s ‘academic’?? You best be trolling, fool! Anyway, maybe I do, I’m not sure, but I’m going to try and combat it if I can. ‘Academic’ is a voice for journal articles and the Discovery Channel, not for me.)

So, moving on, it occurred to me that signing into Facebook shifts your mental focus from whatever coherent thoughts you were having, to being completely and almost mindlessly angled to what others think of you. You apply for their acceptance of friendship. You wait for comments on your page, your photos, your status updates, your applications, quizzes, groups, interests, favourite quotes.. It goes on and on. You refresh your page to see what new things people have done in that minute to your profile or their own. Its almost hypnotic.

It reminds me of high school. Suddenly, all the idiots you never cared about have access to judge your life all over again. And sure, its nice to be in touch and see what everyone is doing, but if you really cared you’d already know, right? Its the popularity contest, the beauty contest, the coolest person contest (was that ever a contest?).. You’ve undone all your good work of distancing yourself from peoples opinions, because the very existence of an account brings the social affirmation aspect with it.

Or is that the weak way to look at it? A truly enlightened soul would enjoy an account without a care in the world of who accepted or who commented. But therein lies the problem. The majority of us are not enlightened, and are not already internally happy. We are the ever-unsatisfied consumer, haunted by images of celebrities and athletes, dealing with the issues of our shrinking self esteems and capitalist oppression. Facebook is the perfect device to feed into that. Its the validation thing. You have to always update your profile/wall, just like you have to update your wardrobe/household items.

What do you think, unhealthy? Or fine in moderation?

Consent Of Inaction

Connex are goddamn bastards. This isn’t a transport rant, but I felt it was an appropriate opening in any case. I read this article at the start of the week and it made me realise how tolerant I’d been, when really I should have been screaming from the rooftops like the rest of the transport-minded crazies (ie Reuben ).

The ticket inspectors are horrible, drunk on power, violent and abusive assholes! The worst thing is that I’ve seen this first hand and I just went along with it. Every morning at Melbourne Central they’re lined up at the gates ready and waiting to harass anyone who dares use a concession ticket (although they were notably missing after that story was published, oh just decided to take a day off out of nowhere huh? Tails between your legs like dogs!). I would take pleasure in haughtily waving it in their face while I was still using my concession card until it was revoked a couple months ago, not because I’m a super-bitch (that’s still up for debate yea?) but because of how rude they were when asking/forcing people to show it. And even though I knew it was fucked up enough for me to be bitchy about it, I didn’t register just how bad it was.

We pay them good money! I spend 50bux a week on stupid train tickets, and for that I get squashed into a tiny overcrowded space, cancelled or late trains and on top of that harassed by the inspectors! Fucking bullshit. I’ve seen them walking casually through, plainclothes, acting like passengers then suddenly someone’s like ‘Now!’ and they rip out their badges, jump over seats and start chasing some punk kids like they were catching the crown jewel thieves or some shit. Its insane, its over-kill, its just wack.

So anyway (after that ridiculously long intro), this is what I’m feeling so bad about. A couple of weeks ago I was walking through Melb Cent with my full fare ticket, and I see about 5 inspectors have this lady up against the wall, and she’s crying and begging them to give her back her license, and they’re waving it above her, screaming at her and pushing her backwards. They were threatening her and mocking her, and the poor woman was hysterical. It was fucked up. And I looked at that and thought, ‘Yeop she probs forgot her concession card,’ and felt relieved that I had my full fare ticket so they couldn’t stop me at the gate anymore.

I can’t believe I walked past that and did nothing! I’m an enabler. I just let them do that to her and walk on relieved I didn’t have to deal with them. Like it was perfectly fine that a group of men should gang up on a woman, make her cry and hold her up against the wall like she did anything worse than maybe not pay $5 on top of her existing ticket. Why oh why didn’t I go up to them and tell them to calm the fuck down? To stop pushing her and making her cry? I was too afraid they’d turn their wrath on me. That’s just weak, that’s not good enough.

There was a house on the corner of a couple of busy streets in my area that a family of Muslims moved into. And everyone saw them on their front lawn or packing their stuff into the house, the whole neighbourhood knew we had a new Muslim family. Anyway one day we drove past to see someone had spray painted on the front of their white house “Fuck you Muslims” or something equally as evil.

I felt so bad, every day it was still up I wanted to knock on their door with a welcome basket and ask them if I could help them repaint the wall, to show that they were actually welcome. And I kept thinking, I’ll do it tomorrow, I’ll do it the next day, until finally it was too late and they had repainted it themselves. I always regret that I let it go, I did nothing, and by doing nothing and keeping myself out of their business I had added to the problem. Silence is consent. Their house is up for sale and I don’t blame them for leaving. What a shitty neighbourhood.

I vow to myself, never again will I let myself sit back and watch something terrible happen without lending a hand to stop it. I will not let people be treated like they have no rights, I have to find the courage to stand up for what’s right no matter what the cost is! I’m so disappointed in myself.

When Animals Are Animals..

A friend of my sisters work mate had a pet snake that she’d owned for years and years. It was a python and she loved it, every night it would curl up on her feet and sleep, warming her on cold evenings. Then out of nowhere the snake stopped eating and wouldn’t sleep on her feet, it would just stretch out beside her as far as it could go. Puzzled, she took him to the vet to see if he was sick. “You’re snake isn’t sick,” the vet told her. “He’s planning to eat you, so he’s stretching out to see if you can fit and not eating to make enough room for you in its body.”

What the fuck! How scary and crazy is that? She had to have it destroyed, as you would, but man.. Imagine the pet you thought loved you was quietly planning your murder! I still can’t get over it, I’ve been thinking about it constantly ever since. If she didn’t take him to the vet, she woulda been strangled and eaten.

I suppose it goes to show that even the animals we care for and create bonds with are still just animals at the end of the day. They follow their instincts. Or perhaps its because it was a reptile, not a mammal. You can’t really domesticate a snake I guess. They’re cold blooded, and predators, we have almost nothing in common for them to bond with us.

Monkeys are very close to our species, but we can’t really keep them as pets because they’re too smart for us. They can problem solve and coreograph scenarios, not to mention are scary as fuck! I’ve never understood why people would want to have them as pets, they’re so strong and have huge teeth and beady black eyes.. What about when those pet ones jumped that guy and ripped off parts of his body when he went in to feed them one day? He’d had them for ages then they suddenly just turned on him. It makes me rethink even having a cat!

Then you hear and watch stories like Christian the lion, who was raised by a couple who freed him when he was old enough, and recognised and hugged them when they found him years later in the wild. He was just as savage as the lions in the pride he was the leader of, yet he reverted back to his domesticated state when they reappeared in his life.

Heres another nicer story, with no humans involved:

Well anyway, I’ve moved into my dads place for a while so I don’t have to worry about whether Pooky is planning my demise, but still its food for thought. Anybody else got some crazy animal stories to share?

I Don’t Smoke Either, But Damn That’s Some Funny Shit!

 

A lady was punched in the face at Parliament Station yesterday for telling another woman to stop smoking. In the words of my sister India, and as a reformed smoker myself, I have to say: “Lol, lol, lol, lol!”

Smokers all over the world are nodding their heads in unison. This is the most annoying thing about being a smoker, the constant disapproval and people telling you what *they* think you should do with your life, and how stupid and irresponsible you are, how its killing you blah, blah, blah forever! Walking past you and hissing a snide remark or waving their hand at you to clear the smoke. Just some examples of the social persecution a smoker must go through daily.

Firstly, nobody told you to start smoking, so don’t go around telling people to quit. Its the equivalent of those Christians who door knock, or try to pretend that their religious ideology has some kind of relevance in mainstream society or politics, or even the atheists who feel its their duty to burst the bubbles of those who have a faith. Sell your shit somewhere else, because I’m not buying & if I want your opinion I would ask for it. Ohhh, you’re doing it in the name of my health? Because you know whats good for me? Get over it, you’re no saint healing the world, I’m sure Bush thought he knew what was good for Iraq too, but 90,000 dead Iraqi civillians says otherwise. Over-reaching with that comparison, but it gets the point across. Pretty much, this paragraph can be summed up by saying: Mind Your Own Damn Business.

Secondly, smokers have the right to stand somewhere and smoke, just as you a non-smoker have the right to stand somewhere and NOT smoke. They are not second class citizens just because the social opinion of today is against smoking. Twenty years ago, it was the opposite, but you didn’t see smokers with that on their side walking around pressuring people to live like them, did you? Got the whole world on your side so you can go around pushing people huh? You bullies!

Thirdly, how rude are you to ask someone not to smoke?! Smokers are not lepers, and they can do what they want. Their choice is not affecting you. If you walk up to someone and tell them how to live, then you sound like an asshole who deserves a punch in the face, if you ask me. I would never go up to someone on the street and criticise them, even if they were a cracked out junkie-whore making a scene on the corner. And partially that is because, a junkie is unpredictable, like most strangers, they could potentially take what you said offensively and decide to crack you in the nose. Goddamn self righteous fools, watch who you’re messing with, especially at a train station. You’re lucky you didn’t get stabbed!

I don’t condone the violence, and clearly it was out of line for the woman to use brutal force on someone who merely spoke to them asking them something, but you non-smokers can be so rude and interfering and outspoken that after a while, the constant hostility could easily make someone snap. The chick *should* have just told the woman to go fuck herself, that would have been appropriate, but oh well. Next time.

 

Its simple, if you don’t like smoke in your vicinity, then stand somewhere else! Are you an idiot? You’re the only one forcing yourself to stand in that position, near that smoker, so stop waving your arms around like a retarded traffic cop and move your annoying face somewhere else. And I don’t give a shit if it was under cover or inside or against the law or prohibited or whatever, you goddamn snitch, tattletale, goody-goody, teachers pet! Its a cigarette, get over it.

I realise my blogroll is made up of 90% non-smokers & this isn’t aimed at any of you. I welcome your differing opinions though, and feel free to be as blunt and ranty as I’ve been, it makes it fun! Cheers.

Guest Post From TDW

So I sit here having downloaded yet another album through the Pirate Bay using my Bit Torrent program, and am wondering whether or not it truly is naughty of me not to pay anything for this music. After reading an article over at the Economist about the starters of the Pirate Bay webite getting in a lot of legal trouble at home in Sweden, obviously there was a bit of heated discussion in the comments section about whether or not downloading is naughty or if record company executives are merely trying to hold on to a dying and outdated business model. I care obviously because I hope to one day get in the business. This comment stuck out to me:

“The author is completely missing the point. The Pirate Bay case is not “a victory for media companies against internet piracy”, it is their (temporary) victory against change and innovation. It is giving them the right to keep operating with their outdated 20th-century model, and keep feeding their customers an inappropriate product (low-quality, rigid, locked and overpriced). What the public wants is a product that would be versatile, readily-available, high quality and affordable.

This industry is calling itself “creative”, yet it hasn’t been able to figure out a way to adapt to current technology or its cusomers’ needs. Through its systematic resistance to change and progress, it has left a gap in the market, which, in turn, has allowed so-called pirates to flourish.

Few will deny artists the right to make a decent living off of their work. That they have the right to make fortunes is more debatable. However, now that the need for material supports is disappearing, that recording equipment is becoming affordable, and that music and film can almost market themselves, the middle man (”the industry”), on the other hand, has become an unnecessary, expensive step in the creative process.

Hopefully, the market will do its work, and weed out those dying relics of the past century. Someone will figure out a legal way to bring artists closer to their audiences, and still make a healthy profit. Adapt or die. 2009 is the 150th anniversary of the publication of “Origin of Species”. How appropriate!”

What do you think? To be honest, I think that downloading illegally has allowed me to discover FAR FAR FAR FAR FAR more artists than ever before. Great for me, but what about the bands? The odds of me going to see these bands live, or buying their merchandise has increased avenged sevenfold now that my awareness of music is at its highest. So if you were a musician, what would you prefer: sell CDs at a rigid $30 a pop where you are in direct competition with zillions of other artists, many of whom are incredibly fake and manufactured by industry heads to sell CDs over yours, or distribute your music freely, generate a massive word-wide fanbase that is restricted only by who has internet access and has an interest in checking you out, and selling almost nightly concert tickets from $50-$150 where thousands of people attend, selling t-shirts at $50 a pop and actually interacting and PERFORMING live like all good musicians should? I’m really starting to feel this new direction, even though it feels somewhat wrong.

This is an excellent example found in a different article:

“Take, for example, two hypothetical films: one made by struggling idealistic art students and the other by a big name director backed by a major studio with a multimillion dollar budget and nationwide advertising campaign. If each film was pirated and watched by a million people we could reasonably expect that the film students would be ecstatic (without an advertising budget their film would have been doomed to the art house circuit) while the big name director would be furious. Why? Because the film students are doing it for art while the director is doing it for the money. This is, in simple terms, what I believe the political potential of piracy to be — piracy allows us to quickly ascertain the authenticity of a cultural product.”

Everlasting

“The place we used to be is still a part of me

And I’m so fortunate lady that you still need a piece of me

And I know that you’re waiting, see I’m only down town

You know I roll alone girl, I’m never with a crowd..

Take me back to the day when you made me fall

I want to go, I want to go

Make me feel like you did the very first time we ever touched

I want to go, lets just go..”

I went to stay at my great-grandmothers place these holidays, and while she passed away when I was five and the house has been renovated since, it still has her feel and her essence. You can’t escape it. Maybe it comes from knowing her, knowing what kind of woman she was and how caring and selfless she was. But how can you really know what kind of person someone is when you’re five? I knew she was loving and kind, and thats all I needed.

One of the first things we did was walk around and check everything out, see what we remembered and what was new. Touch and prod and feel and try on. Her mink coat was gone, a tribute to her classic style. She was pearls and 1940’s curls, designer chic for dinner and nautical colors as she relaxed around the house. We stared at a glamour pic of her from her youth, she must have been early twenties. “You look like her, ” my sister said. And I was surprised to find I agreed with her. We have dark hair and the same nose. I felt like family for once.

One thing really struck a chord with me as I sat down in her old torn recliner and looked at the room from a perspective she must have, day in and out, for decades. I could see the tv in front of me, to the left was the window with a view to the garden of the front yard, and to the right was a portrait of her husband who died a long time before she did. She must have looked into his eyes everyday and missed him.

“Sure as all that breathe will die

And showers fall from April skies

A heart thats pure won’t be denied

The kind of loving that will rock you

The kind of loving that will keep you

Hold you for a lifetime

Even in the hard times, even when its going down..

You’re gonna find someone’s riding with you

You don’t have to be alone, you just have to hold on

You’re gonna find true love..”

What happened to the love from back then? The one that lasted forever, long after your husband has gone. The one that left you believing you’d be with him one day soon, that he was waiting for you.. These days it seems like marriage lasts 7 years, and love lasts even less. How is it that our grandparents marriages last forever, but everyone else is divorcing? Theres some element they have, that we don’t. What is it?

Maybe its because we don’t truly appreciate the other when they are with us, what they do for us, or that it takes effort every single day to make things work. Maybe its because we’re so trained by consumerism to never be satisfied, to always want more or be looking for something better, an upgrade.. Why do people leave each other, when others can make it work forever? We raise our kids in the era of divorce, it feels like every kid has gone or will go through it. And with that kind of backdrop, how can we expect them to believe in a love that lasts more than a few years? Its no wonder everyone is always breaking up.

But when I sat in her chair it wasn’t hard for me to imagine getting a portrait of my own husband, and of days spent there warmed by the suns rays and our own affections. I hadn’t even considered marriage before that, aside from maybe eloping in Las Vegas or something equally as vague. I’d definitely never thought about the part after. But now its a big question in the back of my mind.. What has happened to everlasting love?

“When I think about it

I know that I was never there

Or even cared

The more I think about it

The less that I was able to share

With you

I try to reach you I

Can almost feel you, you’re nearly here

And then you disappear..”